1 00:00:02,000 --> 00:00:07,000 Downloaded from YTS.MX 2 00:00:08,000 --> 00:00:13,000 Official YIFY movies site: YTS.MX 3 00:00:10,527 --> 00:00:14,531 - Hi, I'm Olga and this is my boyfriend, Michael. 4 00:00:14,600 --> 00:00:17,465 We want to have a child and Michael wants us to try 5 00:00:17,534 --> 00:00:22,229 to adopt, but my fears from the past hold me back 6 00:00:22,298 --> 00:00:24,610 from moving on. 7 00:00:27,613 --> 00:00:30,099 [children laughing] 8 00:00:30,168 --> 00:00:32,929 ["Happy Birthday To You"] 9 00:00:39,522 --> 00:00:44,113 - I want to have no kids. - Why? 10 00:00:44,182 --> 00:00:46,632 - Because I'm afraid they're going to turn out like me. 11 00:00:46,701 --> 00:00:48,807 - What don't you like about yourself? 12 00:00:48,876 --> 00:00:50,533 - I'm bad. 13 00:00:52,155 --> 00:00:54,433 - I think so, one day. 14 00:00:54,502 --> 00:00:57,919 [guitar music] 15 00:01:01,647 --> 00:01:03,063 - I would love to have some more small kids. 16 00:01:03,132 --> 00:01:05,030 I still can make them but I don't want 17 00:01:05,099 --> 00:01:06,480 to go there right now. 18 00:01:06,549 --> 00:01:10,518 [guitar music] 19 00:01:14,936 --> 00:01:16,593 - I've known since I was a teenager 20 00:01:16,662 --> 00:01:19,009 that I didn't want to have children. 21 00:01:19,079 --> 00:01:21,253 [guitar music] 22 00:01:24,463 --> 00:01:27,087 - I want to have three or four. 23 00:01:27,156 --> 00:01:30,193 - I want to have uno, one. 24 00:01:31,436 --> 00:01:32,816 - I don't have children. 25 00:01:32,885 --> 00:01:35,854 I plan to hopefully eventually one day have children. 26 00:01:35,923 --> 00:01:38,719 - Eventually someday when I'm ready. 27 00:01:38,788 --> 00:01:41,239 [guitar and drum music] 28 00:01:46,106 --> 00:01:49,764 - Listen, what if they say we don't have the right to adopt? 29 00:01:49,833 --> 00:01:54,010 Would this mean that I'm not good enough to be parent? 30 00:01:56,357 --> 00:01:57,738 - Have the right? 31 00:01:57,807 --> 00:01:59,878 Well, of course this is, you know, 32 00:01:59,947 --> 00:02:03,468 mother nature gave us the right to have babies, right? 33 00:02:03,537 --> 00:02:05,642 - No, some of us don't deserve it 34 00:02:05,711 --> 00:02:07,057 because we don't know how to treat them. 35 00:02:07,127 --> 00:02:10,716 Some people use kids as decoration, not for love. 36 00:02:10,785 --> 00:02:12,649 - A woman's right to have or not have children 37 00:02:12,718 --> 00:02:14,893 or choose how many children she has is, I think, 38 00:02:14,962 --> 00:02:17,965 inextricably wrapped up with her right to her own body. 39 00:02:18,034 --> 00:02:19,518 - Everybody should have a right, make a decision 40 00:02:19,587 --> 00:02:22,003 to have kids or not; everybody should. 41 00:02:22,072 --> 00:02:22,866 It's America. 42 00:02:22,935 --> 00:02:24,351 We all have rights, right? 43 00:02:24,420 --> 00:02:26,870 - I think we definitely do have the right to have kids. 44 00:02:26,939 --> 00:02:31,151 - Well, it appears that even Sir Elton John doesn't. 45 00:02:32,704 --> 00:02:35,293 - In 2010 during one of their visits to Ukraine, 46 00:02:35,362 --> 00:02:38,606 Sir Elton John and David Furnish went to a specialized orphanage 47 00:02:38,675 --> 00:02:40,160 for children with HIV 48 00:02:40,229 --> 00:02:42,403 where they met an abandoned boy named Lev, 49 00:02:42,472 --> 00:02:45,475 born to a drug-addicted mother and a convicted rapist 50 00:02:45,544 --> 00:02:48,168 and murderer for a father. 51 00:02:51,205 --> 00:02:53,276 Elton John and David fell in love with Lev 52 00:02:53,345 --> 00:02:54,898 from the moment they saw him. 53 00:02:54,967 --> 00:02:56,383 They were ready to adopt him 54 00:02:56,452 --> 00:02:59,006 and even his older brother Artemis. 55 00:02:59,075 --> 00:03:01,733 All they wanted was to give a good life to the small person 56 00:03:01,802 --> 00:03:04,943 who needed love and a home. 57 00:03:05,012 --> 00:03:07,911 But the Ukrainian government didn't think it was a good idea 58 00:03:07,980 --> 00:03:09,189 despite everything Elton John 59 00:03:09,258 --> 00:03:11,674 and his foundation has done for Ukraine. 60 00:03:11,743 --> 00:03:13,986 - I will do everything I can to help the Ukraine 61 00:03:14,055 --> 00:03:17,162 with the AIDS epidemic. I will give you my solemn-- 62 00:03:17,231 --> 00:03:19,337 - They said Elton John does not match certain criteria 63 00:03:19,406 --> 00:03:23,617 and therefore has no right to become a parent. 64 00:03:23,686 --> 00:03:25,205 - But this is absolute madness. 65 00:03:25,274 --> 00:03:27,137 If they are not good enough to be parents, 66 00:03:27,207 --> 00:03:28,553 are we good enough? 67 00:03:28,622 --> 00:03:30,071 Who is good enough then? 68 00:03:30,140 --> 00:03:34,766 [silence] 69 00:03:36,837 --> 00:03:40,530 [airplane landing] 70 00:03:40,599 --> 00:03:42,256 - We decided to go back to Ukraine to find 71 00:03:42,325 --> 00:03:45,501 out how could Elton and David be rejected and what kind 72 00:03:45,570 --> 00:03:49,677 of future lies in wait for Ukrainian children like Lev? 73 00:03:50,851 --> 00:03:53,025 - Alexii Reznikov is an attorney who was assigned 74 00:03:53,094 --> 00:03:56,684 to the adoption case of Sir Elton John and David Furnish. 75 00:03:56,753 --> 00:03:59,687 [foreign language spoken] 76 00:04:46,631 --> 00:04:48,149 - I feel your pain because I was going 77 00:04:48,218 --> 00:04:50,497 through the whole process with you, 78 00:04:50,566 --> 00:04:53,362 but how did it feel being rejected? 79 00:04:53,431 --> 00:04:56,123 - I mean when we came here and I said that afternoon 80 00:04:56,192 --> 00:04:58,608 that I would love to adopt him, I didn't know what a can 81 00:04:58,677 --> 00:05:01,508 of worms I was going to open. 82 00:05:01,577 --> 00:05:04,373 And it led to us abandoning our hopes for adopting him 83 00:05:04,442 --> 00:05:07,617 because the last person who was being thought about was Lev 84 00:05:07,686 --> 00:05:08,929 and his brother, Artemis. 85 00:05:08,998 --> 00:05:11,966 They were like pawns in a political game, 86 00:05:12,035 --> 00:05:14,969 which involved us two and the governments 87 00:05:15,038 --> 00:05:19,388 and the adoption laws in the Ukraine, and the last people 88 00:05:19,457 --> 00:05:23,806 to be thought of were the children and that was so bad. 89 00:05:23,875 --> 00:05:26,291 So now they are out of the orphanage. 90 00:05:26,360 --> 00:05:30,399 We are very happy about that, but we sat down 91 00:05:30,468 --> 00:05:33,402 two Christmases ago, and said, "We have to give up our plans 92 00:05:33,471 --> 00:05:37,129 "to adopt these children because it's going to take at least two and a half years 93 00:05:37,198 --> 00:05:39,028 "to do this and at the end of those two 94 00:05:39,097 --> 00:05:40,236 "and a half years we have no guarantee 95 00:05:40,305 --> 00:05:42,376 "that we will be able to adopt them." 96 00:05:42,445 --> 00:05:46,449 And so that's another two and a half years that they have to stay in the orphanage. 97 00:05:46,518 --> 00:05:49,728 - You know, every child needs nurturing and when the orphanages are full of children 98 00:05:49,797 --> 00:05:52,869 that aren't being picked up and held and being given attention 99 00:05:52,938 --> 00:05:55,941 and love all the time, they don't develop as well. 100 00:05:56,010 --> 00:05:58,081 It's-- we've spoken with psychologists about it. 101 00:05:58,150 --> 00:05:59,738 A child who had been in an orphanage for more 102 00:05:59,807 --> 00:06:02,154 than three years ends up being almost irreparably 103 00:06:02,223 --> 00:06:04,294 psychologically damaged because they've never had this. 104 00:06:04,364 --> 00:06:06,435 They've never been held in a regular basis and made 105 00:06:06,504 --> 00:06:09,369 to feel that, that bond that you feel with your own child. 106 00:06:09,438 --> 00:06:12,786 And we've seen our little son who's just brilliant and so bright and happy 107 00:06:12,855 --> 00:06:17,031 and we're just showing him all the love we possibly can and he's responding to that. 108 00:06:17,100 --> 00:06:20,897 And you think of how well Zachary responds to love and affection and you think 109 00:06:20,966 --> 00:06:23,452 of all those children who don't get that. It breaks your heart. 110 00:06:23,521 --> 00:06:25,592 - It makes you angry. - [Olga] Yeah, I know. 111 00:06:25,661 --> 00:06:28,698 - It makes you angry, really angry that there are 112 00:06:28,767 --> 00:06:31,252 so many beautiful children that-- 113 00:06:31,321 --> 00:06:33,289 and people try and adopt them and every step 114 00:06:33,358 --> 00:06:37,086 of the way is a barrier and it's ridiculous. 115 00:06:37,155 --> 00:06:40,123 It's ludicrous and it's inhuman. 116 00:06:40,192 --> 00:06:42,712 - Don't you think it's a little bit unfair if you want 117 00:06:42,781 --> 00:06:47,130 to adopt a child you have to meet an entire set of criteria? 118 00:06:47,199 --> 00:06:49,650 And if you want to have a biological child, 119 00:06:49,719 --> 00:06:50,824 you just have to have sex? 120 00:06:50,893 --> 00:06:52,066 - You're absolutely right. 121 00:06:52,135 --> 00:06:54,172 People who reach a stage like we did in our lives 122 00:06:54,241 --> 00:06:55,656 where we thought we could adopt 123 00:06:55,725 --> 00:06:58,038 and be good parents, the door was shut 124 00:06:58,107 --> 00:07:00,005 in our face straight away. 125 00:07:00,074 --> 00:07:01,386 And we could have given Lev 126 00:07:01,455 --> 00:07:05,459 and Artemis a great home, no question about it. 127 00:07:05,528 --> 00:07:09,429 And I think it's wrong that children are being stuck away 128 00:07:09,498 --> 00:07:13,018 in orphanages and parents who genuinely want to have a child 129 00:07:13,087 --> 00:07:15,158 that can't have children or would like to adopt 130 00:07:15,227 --> 00:07:20,232 in their own family find the door shut in their face 131 00:07:20,301 --> 00:07:23,373 or every step they're scrutinized beyond belief, 132 00:07:23,443 --> 00:07:25,514 as if the were aliens from another planet. 133 00:07:25,583 --> 00:07:27,136 - Some adoption authorities go in it from a position 134 00:07:27,205 --> 00:07:29,621 of what's wrong with you rather than looking at what's right 135 00:07:29,690 --> 00:07:32,106 with a couple and seeing what their strengths are. 136 00:07:32,175 --> 00:07:34,039 They look for problems. They look for faults. 137 00:07:34,108 --> 00:07:35,903 They look for flaws and the minute they find one, 138 00:07:35,972 --> 00:07:38,561 they strike you off the list. 139 00:07:38,630 --> 00:07:40,460 [walking] 140 00:07:41,875 --> 00:07:45,223 - So what happened to Lev and his brother? 141 00:07:45,292 --> 00:07:48,709 From nowhere, their parents showed up full of so called love 142 00:07:48,778 --> 00:07:50,642 for their children they had abandoned 143 00:07:50,711 --> 00:07:52,782 and full of hate for Elton. 144 00:07:52,851 --> 00:07:57,891 But why? Well, someone gave Lev's mother a load of money. 145 00:07:57,960 --> 00:08:00,134 Then a government social worker forced her 146 00:08:00,203 --> 00:08:02,274 to visit the kids in the orphanage. 147 00:08:02,343 --> 00:08:04,863 She was even put on a number of TV shows, 148 00:08:04,932 --> 00:08:06,624 but she simply couldn't handle it all 149 00:08:06,693 --> 00:08:10,351 and she died nine months later from heavy drug abuse. 150 00:08:10,420 --> 00:08:12,802 As for the father, he went back to prison. 151 00:08:12,871 --> 00:08:16,185 So Lev and his brother are now fostered by their grandmother. 152 00:08:16,254 --> 00:08:17,807 And let's not forget the kids were born 153 00:08:17,876 --> 00:08:19,671 to an HIV positive mother, 154 00:08:19,740 --> 00:08:22,605 so they might require an extremely expensive treatment 155 00:08:22,674 --> 00:08:24,400 for the rest of their lives. 156 00:08:24,469 --> 00:08:27,127 After being rejected, Sir Elton John and David Furnish had 157 00:08:27,196 --> 00:08:29,543 to give up their dream to adopt Lev. 158 00:08:29,612 --> 00:08:33,996 So they had a son, Zachary, from a surrogate mother. 159 00:08:34,997 --> 00:08:37,517 [wind and traffic] 160 00:08:39,726 --> 00:08:44,420 [slow music] 161 00:08:44,489 --> 00:08:46,871 So, what does this government have to provide 162 00:08:46,940 --> 00:08:48,804 for its children instead? 163 00:08:48,873 --> 00:08:51,116 An even better future, hardly. 164 00:08:51,185 --> 00:08:54,844 This is Leonid Petrovich Krysov, a government social worker 165 00:08:54,913 --> 00:08:56,156 who tries to help kids 166 00:08:56,225 --> 00:08:58,330 who can't even dream of the opportunities 167 00:08:58,399 --> 00:09:01,057 that was taken away from Lev and his brother. 168 00:09:01,126 --> 00:09:04,716 [foreign language spoken] 169 00:09:52,971 --> 00:09:56,665 [slow music] 170 00:10:33,184 --> 00:10:36,428 [foreign language spoken] 171 00:10:37,775 --> 00:10:39,708 - How do kids end up like this? 172 00:10:39,777 --> 00:10:42,124 The likelihood of a Ukrainian child like Lev ending 173 00:10:42,193 --> 00:10:44,678 up on the streets is relatively high. 174 00:10:44,747 --> 00:10:49,165 My friend [inaudible] has a British degree 175 00:10:49,234 --> 00:10:51,823 in psychology might be the right person to ask. 176 00:10:51,892 --> 00:10:54,792 - If you want to give us just a few seconds and then we can talk, alright? 177 00:10:54,861 --> 00:10:59,417 - Fantastic. - Sometimes children just opt to leave their houses. 178 00:10:59,486 --> 00:11:02,316 They just run away and stay in the streets where it's cold, 179 00:11:02,385 --> 00:11:04,318 where it's dangerous but they still think 180 00:11:04,387 --> 00:11:07,770 that streets are better places for them. 181 00:11:07,839 --> 00:11:13,465 - It's a natural instinct to survive basically, 182 00:11:14,328 --> 00:11:17,159 because when somebody is-- 183 00:11:17,228 --> 00:11:19,402 I mean we are talking about the abuse, 184 00:11:19,471 --> 00:11:21,163 but there is different type of abuse. 185 00:11:21,232 --> 00:11:25,132 A child can be abused physically or psychologically. 186 00:11:25,201 --> 00:11:28,998 And the child wants to protect himself, 187 00:11:29,067 --> 00:11:30,897 to save himself, so they leave. 188 00:11:30,966 --> 00:11:32,105 They go away. 189 00:11:32,174 --> 00:11:35,315 They don't think what expects them out there. 190 00:11:35,384 --> 00:11:38,870 They think out of here, not what's out there. 191 00:11:38,939 --> 00:11:41,804 [scary music] 192 00:11:56,508 --> 00:11:58,372 - This is Sergey and Ivetta. 193 00:11:58,441 --> 00:12:01,065 These teenagers live in an abandoned building 194 00:12:01,134 --> 00:12:04,309 without heating, running water and toilets. 195 00:12:04,378 --> 00:12:06,967 And Ivetta just told us she's pregnant. 196 00:12:07,036 --> 00:12:09,729 [foreign language spoken] 197 00:13:10,065 --> 00:13:13,378 [moving around] 198 00:13:19,281 --> 00:13:20,661 - This is Okya-Kolya. 199 00:13:20,730 --> 00:13:22,318 She has been living on the streets 200 00:13:22,387 --> 00:13:23,492 for three years, a victim 201 00:13:23,561 --> 00:13:26,046 of daily abuse and sexual abduction. 202 00:13:26,115 --> 00:13:28,152 Her only escape has been sniffing glue 203 00:13:28,221 --> 00:13:31,258 and using other drugs to survive on the streets 204 00:13:31,327 --> 00:13:32,708 and avoid being raped. 205 00:13:32,777 --> 00:13:35,193 She has a boy's name and a boy's appearance. 206 00:13:35,262 --> 00:13:37,920 [foreign language spoken] 207 00:14:32,941 --> 00:14:35,564 - Usually these are families that had problems 208 00:14:35,633 --> 00:14:38,463 on their own when they were kids. 209 00:14:38,532 --> 00:14:41,466 They were abused when they were kids. 210 00:14:41,535 --> 00:14:44,297 It really doesn't matter whether you slap a child 211 00:14:44,366 --> 00:14:45,574 with a hand 212 00:14:45,643 --> 00:14:48,542 or whether you slap a child with a word. 213 00:14:48,611 --> 00:14:51,338 So what I'm saying, it's a story that repeats itself. 214 00:14:51,407 --> 00:14:52,615 - [Olga] They do what they learn. 215 00:14:52,684 --> 00:14:55,929 - Yes. It's in their reflex. 216 00:14:55,998 --> 00:14:56,826 - Okay. 217 00:14:56,896 --> 00:14:58,138 - In fact, they cannot stop. 218 00:14:58,207 --> 00:15:00,900 It's something like an itch. 219 00:15:02,073 --> 00:15:04,973 - So why did the Ukrainian government refuse Sir Elton John 220 00:15:05,042 --> 00:15:07,423 and his wife to adopt a Ukrainian child? 221 00:15:07,492 --> 00:15:10,806 [foreign language spoken] 222 00:15:41,009 --> 00:15:44,219 - We're living proof that we can be a very stable couple 223 00:15:44,288 --> 00:15:47,153 and have good values and have friends 224 00:15:47,222 --> 00:15:48,775 of all sorts and sizes, 225 00:15:48,844 --> 00:15:51,019 all different religions, all different colors, 226 00:15:51,088 --> 00:15:55,023 all different sexual preferences and have a wonderful life. 227 00:15:55,092 --> 00:15:58,267 - I think provided you know that someone is loving 228 00:15:58,336 --> 00:16:00,580 and compassionate and competent and in a position to provide 229 00:16:00,649 --> 00:16:02,962 for a child 100 percent; that can be two men, 230 00:16:03,031 --> 00:16:04,170 that can be two women, 231 00:16:04,239 --> 00:16:06,172 that can be an older married couple, 232 00:16:06,241 --> 00:16:08,381 that can be a single parent. 233 00:16:08,450 --> 00:16:11,108 Lots of children come from different families 234 00:16:11,177 --> 00:16:12,661 of different shapes and sizes. 235 00:16:12,730 --> 00:16:14,318 I think the important thing is about love 236 00:16:14,387 --> 00:16:15,767 and commitment and dedication. 237 00:16:15,836 --> 00:16:19,495 - The Ukraine needs to really enter the 21st century 238 00:16:19,564 --> 00:16:22,982 and give gay rights to every gay person. 239 00:16:23,051 --> 00:16:26,813 What is this nonsense that's spouted by politicians 240 00:16:26,882 --> 00:16:29,989 and religious leaders about the hatred towards gay people. 241 00:16:30,058 --> 00:16:31,473 It's really disgraceful. 242 00:16:31,542 --> 00:16:35,132 It's disgusting and it's about time it stopped. 243 00:16:35,201 --> 00:16:40,447 - So, what is the Ukrainian government really fighting for? 244 00:16:40,516 --> 00:16:42,380 Don't these politicians have any other 245 00:16:42,449 --> 00:16:46,695 more important problems to focus on? 246 00:16:46,764 --> 00:16:50,250 Well, population of Ukraine has dramatically decreased 247 00:16:50,319 --> 00:16:53,805 losing almost seven million people in the last eight years. 248 00:16:53,874 --> 00:16:56,774 This is five times more than the number of soldiers 249 00:16:56,843 --> 00:17:01,192 the United States has lost in all wars combined since 1775. 250 00:17:01,261 --> 00:17:04,195 At the moment Ukraine has the third highest death rate 251 00:17:04,264 --> 00:17:07,026 in the world and this is hardly surprising considering the fact 252 00:17:07,095 --> 00:17:10,995 that the vast majority lives on less than a few dollars per day. 253 00:17:11,064 --> 00:17:13,653 After rejecting Sir Elton John, the government decided 254 00:17:13,722 --> 00:17:16,380 to block all healthy kids at the age of five 255 00:17:16,449 --> 00:17:17,622 from leaving the country 256 00:17:17,691 --> 00:17:19,486 and would license only disabled kids 257 00:17:19,555 --> 00:17:21,902 for international adoption. 258 00:17:21,971 --> 00:17:24,629 This government just needs more people, 259 00:17:24,698 --> 00:17:28,426 cheap labor force and customers for businesses, so they hand 260 00:17:28,495 --> 00:17:31,774 out welfare which can be up to five times more 261 00:17:31,843 --> 00:17:34,536 than the person's income for an entire year. 262 00:17:34,605 --> 00:17:35,847 Therefore, it's not surprising 263 00:17:35,916 --> 00:17:38,126 to see some families delivering babies just 264 00:17:38,195 --> 00:17:39,610 to qualify for more cash. 265 00:17:39,679 --> 00:17:41,715 The more you deliver, the more you are paid. 266 00:17:41,784 --> 00:17:44,097 On top of this, they are planning a new law. 267 00:17:44,166 --> 00:17:47,135 If you are over 30 and you don't have kids, 268 00:17:47,204 --> 00:17:50,517 you will have to pay more tax. 269 00:17:52,140 --> 00:17:54,866 It looks like they still care only about numbers, 270 00:17:54,935 --> 00:17:56,385 not people. 271 00:17:56,454 --> 00:17:58,974 But is it that different in the most developed countries 272 00:17:59,043 --> 00:18:02,633 like the United Kingdom or the United States? 273 00:18:04,221 --> 00:18:07,086 [silence] 274 00:18:09,018 --> 00:18:10,572 - What's that? 275 00:18:10,641 --> 00:18:11,504 What's that? 276 00:18:11,573 --> 00:18:12,332 - A taxi. 277 00:18:12,401 --> 00:18:13,230 - A taxi. 278 00:18:13,299 --> 00:18:14,886 - This is David, Pam and Mailo, 279 00:18:14,955 --> 00:18:16,267 an American family who decided 280 00:18:16,336 --> 00:18:20,271 to adopt, and they got there, but it wasn't easy. 281 00:18:20,340 --> 00:18:22,825 - The agencies that we went to 282 00:18:22,894 --> 00:18:24,413 spent a lot of time and energy 283 00:18:24,482 --> 00:18:27,278 and it's a very good old agency, 284 00:18:27,347 --> 00:18:28,969 about 100 years old I think. 285 00:18:29,038 --> 00:18:34,492 And so they had us watch a video about orphanages 286 00:18:34,561 --> 00:18:37,288 and we went to an informational session. 287 00:18:37,357 --> 00:18:42,707 When I saw the orphanages it became a non-question, 288 00:18:42,776 --> 00:18:44,192 that I would have to adopt. 289 00:18:44,261 --> 00:18:45,331 - You sing. 290 00:18:45,400 --> 00:18:47,229 - [Voiceover] It's over. 291 00:18:47,298 --> 00:18:48,196 Can you do that? 292 00:18:48,265 --> 00:18:50,715 - It's over. 293 00:18:52,752 --> 00:18:55,582 - So, we went the Vietnam route, 294 00:18:55,651 --> 00:19:01,243 which was a really arduous paperwork, heavy, 295 00:19:01,312 --> 00:19:02,762 it was incredible. 296 00:19:02,831 --> 00:19:05,385 I could tell the story, right? 297 00:19:05,454 --> 00:19:07,387 No? 298 00:19:07,456 --> 00:19:08,802 - Can we take a break? - No. 299 00:19:08,871 --> 00:19:10,390 - For a second? One second. 300 00:19:10,459 --> 00:19:11,874 - We went, we went in the direction. 301 00:19:11,943 --> 00:19:13,876 - One second, hold on. Let's take a break. 302 00:19:13,945 --> 00:19:17,397 There are a lot of stupid rules and regulations that, okay, 303 00:19:17,466 --> 00:19:18,812 do you know what perfection is? 304 00:19:18,881 --> 00:19:21,021 - Sorry, perfection. - Yeah. 305 00:19:21,090 --> 00:19:25,371 - The idea of perfection is a legal term that, 306 00:19:25,440 --> 00:19:28,857 that you not only have to get something notarized 307 00:19:28,926 --> 00:19:33,206 but you have to go to the county clerk's office 308 00:19:33,275 --> 00:19:36,934 where they then perfect, 309 00:19:37,003 --> 00:19:38,867 they prove that the notary 310 00:19:38,936 --> 00:19:42,422 who notarized your document was, in fact, legitimate. 311 00:19:42,491 --> 00:19:44,217 I went all over New York State, 312 00:19:44,286 --> 00:19:48,911 all over New York State getting stamps by county clerks 313 00:19:48,980 --> 00:19:50,499 saying that the notary was okay. 314 00:19:50,568 --> 00:19:53,226 - Oh, he did it. 315 00:19:53,295 --> 00:19:57,057 - Did you get any kind of education as a future parent? - Yeah, absolutely. 316 00:19:57,126 --> 00:20:01,752 - We did a home study and a home study that included... 317 00:20:01,821 --> 00:20:06,791 ...classes and I would say talk therapy, because it was-- 318 00:20:06,860 --> 00:20:08,276 - A social worker was involved. 319 00:20:08,345 --> 00:20:10,519 - Yeah, it was a social worker that was involved and-- 320 00:20:10,588 --> 00:20:12,418 - I learned a lot though. 321 00:20:12,487 --> 00:20:13,660 In these, in these-- 322 00:20:13,729 --> 00:20:15,938 In these informational seminars. 323 00:20:16,007 --> 00:20:17,285 It was certainly worth it. 324 00:20:17,354 --> 00:20:21,496 It's been helpful in the parenting process 325 00:20:21,565 --> 00:20:25,189 to have more information than less. 326 00:20:25,258 --> 00:20:27,329 [outdoor sounds] 327 00:20:28,675 --> 00:20:30,470 - I have Elizabeth, Noah, 328 00:20:30,539 --> 00:20:32,955 Hilary and Chase; so we have four kids. 329 00:20:33,024 --> 00:20:35,164 Probably about six years ago, we decided that we wanted 330 00:20:35,234 --> 00:20:39,686 to have a fifth child, but I was not in a situation at the time 331 00:20:39,755 --> 00:20:42,689 and so we thought about adopting from China. 332 00:20:42,758 --> 00:20:44,415 We went through the process. 333 00:20:44,484 --> 00:20:46,624 The process is very expensive. 334 00:20:46,693 --> 00:20:49,317 I think in the initial six months we spent 335 00:20:49,386 --> 00:20:53,321 over 15 thousand dollars and it probably would have been 336 00:20:53,390 --> 00:20:56,807 out 25 thousand dollars over the process of actually going 337 00:20:56,876 --> 00:20:59,327 to China and picking up the child and everything. 338 00:20:59,396 --> 00:21:02,088 And it took us about three years and we came 339 00:21:02,157 --> 00:21:04,055 out empty-handed in the process. 340 00:21:04,124 --> 00:21:06,126 We finally withdrew our application 341 00:21:06,195 --> 00:21:10,579 because of how long it was and how expensive it was. 342 00:21:10,648 --> 00:21:13,824 [church bells ringing] 343 00:21:16,240 --> 00:21:18,000 - Francesca Polini and her husband, 344 00:21:18,069 --> 00:21:20,451 a middle class British family, couldn't adopt 345 00:21:20,520 --> 00:21:22,142 because of their skin color. 346 00:21:22,211 --> 00:21:24,800 Francesca became so enraged in the system that she set 347 00:21:24,869 --> 00:21:27,803 out up a contra movement to adopt a better way. 348 00:21:27,872 --> 00:21:30,392 - So you were told you couldn't adopt in this country? 349 00:21:30,461 --> 00:21:31,290 - That's right. 350 00:21:31,359 --> 00:21:32,049 - Why? 351 00:21:32,118 --> 00:21:33,395 - Because we were white. 352 00:21:33,464 --> 00:21:35,811 - And you wanted to adopt non-white children? 353 00:21:35,880 --> 00:21:38,366 - Well we wanted to adopt. It was that simple. 354 00:21:38,435 --> 00:21:40,471 - After several years fighting the adoption system she broke 355 00:21:40,540 --> 00:21:43,957 down the barriers and finally adopted her two children. 356 00:21:44,026 --> 00:21:45,787 She even wrote a book about it all. 357 00:21:45,856 --> 00:21:47,098 - In particular in the UK, 358 00:21:47,167 --> 00:21:49,031 where there's lots more children going 359 00:21:49,100 --> 00:21:51,482 into care for whatever reasons, neglect, abuse, 360 00:21:51,551 --> 00:21:52,932 abandonment, famine, 361 00:21:53,001 --> 00:21:56,867 whatever, actually a lot more families going forwards 362 00:21:56,936 --> 00:21:59,041 because we try and have kids too late. 363 00:21:59,110 --> 00:22:01,492 The concept of family is a very diverse one. 364 00:22:01,561 --> 00:22:04,944 There's step parenting, IBF, surrogate mothers whatever. 365 00:22:05,013 --> 00:22:07,153 Family is not as traditional as it used to be. 366 00:22:07,222 --> 00:22:09,983 And so you would think therefore that the route 367 00:22:10,052 --> 00:22:13,435 for adoption would be as uncomplicated as possible 368 00:22:13,504 --> 00:22:14,954 to allow these children to find 369 00:22:15,023 --> 00:22:16,300 the families that they deserve. 370 00:22:16,369 --> 00:22:18,889 And instead, the system is becoming everywhere 371 00:22:18,958 --> 00:22:21,547 in the world more and more complicated. 372 00:22:21,616 --> 00:22:25,965 And that's absolutely insane because we are letting 373 00:22:26,034 --> 00:22:29,865 down worldwide literally millions of children. 374 00:22:29,934 --> 00:22:32,109 There's even the UN committee 375 00:22:32,178 --> 00:22:34,560 for the protection of the child, 376 00:22:34,629 --> 00:22:38,771 which stated that institutional care is the worst possible 377 00:22:38,840 --> 00:22:42,015 option for an abandoned or a neglected child. 378 00:22:42,084 --> 00:22:47,089 So even when abandonment and neglect happen and things 379 00:22:47,158 --> 00:22:49,885 like adoption and long-term fostering have 380 00:22:49,954 --> 00:22:53,475 to be considered a priority over institutional care, 381 00:22:53,544 --> 00:22:55,166 and you know I know of people who have been turned 382 00:22:55,235 --> 00:22:58,618 down because literally there were occasional smokers, 383 00:22:58,687 --> 00:23:01,103 because they were ethnically different 384 00:23:01,172 --> 00:23:05,453 but not the right ethnicity mix, because they were overweight, 385 00:23:05,522 --> 00:23:08,214 because they thought that they loved their cats too much. 386 00:23:08,283 --> 00:23:11,597 Absolutely absurd reasons, and because of the system being 387 00:23:11,666 --> 00:23:15,048 so messy, they can social workers under government 388 00:23:15,117 --> 00:23:17,810 and everybody else can hide behind any reason, 389 00:23:17,879 --> 00:23:20,640 because there's no actual fix structured way 390 00:23:20,709 --> 00:23:25,196 of monitoring how it works. And so people are scared. 391 00:23:25,265 --> 00:23:27,578 If they have left the process forever there's been no doubt 392 00:23:27,647 --> 00:23:30,823 such a traumatic experience that it's emotionally 393 00:23:30,892 --> 00:23:32,411 too painful to go through it again. 394 00:23:32,480 --> 00:23:34,482 And I don't mean to discourage you, but for the majority 395 00:23:34,551 --> 00:23:38,140 of parents, prospective parents coming forward and actually 396 00:23:38,209 --> 00:23:40,557 in the majority of cases, in something like 90 percent 397 00:23:40,626 --> 00:23:41,903 of the cases particularly 398 00:23:41,972 --> 00:23:45,285 with international adoption it doesn't happen. 399 00:23:45,354 --> 00:23:48,254 [children playing] 400 00:23:49,669 --> 00:23:53,086 [gloomy music] 401 00:23:59,299 --> 00:24:01,750 - Alex Bemrose also struggled to adopt simply 402 00:24:01,819 --> 00:24:03,165 because she was white. 403 00:24:03,234 --> 00:24:05,513 - Because of the belief amongst and the guidelines 404 00:24:05,582 --> 00:24:09,206 that local authorities have long kept to they believe 405 00:24:09,275 --> 00:24:11,277 that children should be brought up in a home 406 00:24:11,346 --> 00:24:13,969 of the same ethnicity as themselves. 407 00:24:14,038 --> 00:24:15,833 And they actually said the three biggest problems 408 00:24:15,902 --> 00:24:17,352 you're going to have is you're white, 409 00:24:17,421 --> 00:24:18,457 you're middle class 410 00:24:18,526 --> 00:24:20,010 and you're a heterosexual couple. 411 00:24:20,079 --> 00:24:21,736 So we looked at a number of different countries 412 00:24:21,805 --> 00:24:26,430 and ended up going to Guatemala and approaching them with a view 413 00:24:26,499 --> 00:24:29,433 to adopting a child or sibling from there 414 00:24:29,502 --> 00:24:33,161 and eventually we were able to adopt Jose. 415 00:24:33,230 --> 00:24:35,025 We brought him home at 11 months, 416 00:24:35,094 --> 00:24:37,545 and yes very, very lucky. 417 00:24:37,614 --> 00:24:38,477 We were lucky. 418 00:24:38,546 --> 00:24:39,581 - Was it an expensive process? 419 00:24:39,650 --> 00:24:40,962 - It is a very expensive process. 420 00:24:41,031 --> 00:24:42,895 If you adopt overseas then you have to 421 00:24:42,964 --> 00:24:44,413 cover the costs not only 422 00:24:44,483 --> 00:24:47,278 for the UK process, which you still have to go through, 423 00:24:47,347 --> 00:24:51,213 so you still have to go through all the interviews, 424 00:24:51,282 --> 00:24:52,836 which is called the home study. 425 00:24:52,905 --> 00:24:54,700 And we had nine three hour interviews 426 00:24:54,769 --> 00:24:58,600 with the social worker and then after that you go to panel 427 00:24:58,669 --> 00:25:03,985 where there was I think 16, 14 or 16 panel judges sitting 428 00:25:04,054 --> 00:25:05,504 around a table and they look at the report 429 00:25:05,573 --> 00:25:07,022 that the social worker has drawn up 430 00:25:07,091 --> 00:25:10,232 and ask you various other questions; terrifying process. 431 00:25:10,301 --> 00:25:12,165 And then they will finally sort 432 00:25:12,234 --> 00:25:13,995 of confirm whether you are eligible or not, 433 00:25:14,064 --> 00:25:16,756 whether your past is eligible to adopt a child. 434 00:25:16,825 --> 00:25:18,309 [silence] 435 00:25:18,378 --> 00:25:21,140 [dark music] 436 00:25:21,209 --> 00:25:22,866 - So am I to face this system that works 437 00:25:22,935 --> 00:25:26,179 against parents and against kids? 438 00:25:26,248 --> 00:25:27,422 - He would almost certainly have ended 439 00:25:27,491 --> 00:25:30,114 up as a street child in Guatemala. 440 00:25:30,183 --> 00:25:31,668 And when I look at him now and I think 441 00:25:31,737 --> 00:25:34,912 that could have been his future, to me that's just-- 442 00:25:34,981 --> 00:25:37,708 oh, I mean I'd lie down in front of a truck. 443 00:25:37,777 --> 00:25:41,229 - What if we find our child and the system rejects us? 444 00:25:41,298 --> 00:25:43,576 We will have to leave her behind forever? 445 00:25:43,645 --> 00:25:49,617 - I know in my heart I could love no biological child 446 00:25:49,686 --> 00:25:52,136 any more than I love my son. 447 00:25:52,205 --> 00:25:53,966 - [Olga] Maybe I've been looking for excuses, 448 00:25:54,035 --> 00:25:57,141 excuses to run away instead of going for it. 449 00:25:57,210 --> 00:25:58,418 - We pinch ourselves everyday. 450 00:25:58,487 --> 00:26:00,938 This little boy has made our lives so happy. 451 00:26:01,007 --> 00:26:03,009 He's such a beautiful soul, 452 00:26:03,078 --> 00:26:08,152 and we are in heaven. We literally are in heaven. 453 00:26:08,221 --> 00:26:11,052 - [Olga] I know now that I must overcome my fears 454 00:26:11,121 --> 00:26:14,607 and move forward with adoption. 455 00:26:14,676 --> 00:26:17,645 So we tried to talk with a number of adoption agencies, 456 00:26:17,714 --> 00:26:24,203 but the more they heard about a camera they said no. 457 00:26:24,272 --> 00:26:27,206 - Finally, we were lucky enough to find an adoption agency 458 00:26:27,275 --> 00:26:30,796 that wasn't afraid to talk in front of a camera. 459 00:26:30,865 --> 00:26:33,281 At least, that's what we thought. 460 00:26:33,350 --> 00:26:34,834 - Hi Samantha. Nice to-- 461 00:26:34,903 --> 00:26:36,974 - We want to adopt a child. - Okay. 462 00:26:37,043 --> 00:26:42,083 - Are there any certain you know income level that we have to have to adopt a child? 463 00:26:42,152 --> 00:26:46,397 - Absolutely not. I think here at this agency we really, because our fees are 464 00:26:46,466 --> 00:26:49,884 on a sliding fee scale, we really don't want the cost 465 00:26:49,953 --> 00:26:51,195 of adoption to inhibit you 466 00:26:51,264 --> 00:26:53,266 from becoming the family that you want to be. 467 00:26:53,335 --> 00:26:54,958 We have moved forward with families 468 00:26:55,027 --> 00:26:56,615 who make 30,000 dollars a year. 469 00:26:56,684 --> 00:26:58,686 - Normally how long does it take from the moment 470 00:26:58,755 --> 00:27:00,584 when you sit down and actually-- 471 00:27:00,653 --> 00:27:01,930 - Um huh. - You know talk about all-- 472 00:27:01,999 --> 00:27:03,345 - You can bring home a child 473 00:27:03,414 --> 00:27:04,830 at six months and you can also bring home a child 474 00:27:04,899 --> 00:27:06,314 in about a year and a half or so. 475 00:27:06,383 --> 00:27:10,905 - Six months, sounds fake to me, too good to be true. 476 00:27:10,974 --> 00:27:14,115 So we managed to get an unexpected interview with one 477 00:27:14,184 --> 00:27:15,944 of the specialists from the same agency. 478 00:27:16,013 --> 00:27:18,706 Maybe this time she wouldn't have been instructed to paint 479 00:27:18,775 --> 00:27:21,363 such a pretty picture and the truth is-- 480 00:27:21,432 --> 00:27:23,883 - At minimum you'll be waiting a year 481 00:27:23,952 --> 00:27:26,575 and at maximum you could be waiting up to five years. 482 00:27:26,645 --> 00:27:29,855 The way that the decision is made by either the agency 483 00:27:29,924 --> 00:27:33,168 or the country is based on the assessment that families go 484 00:27:33,237 --> 00:27:35,170 through during the home study process. 485 00:27:35,239 --> 00:27:38,587 - You know based on your experience how many applications 486 00:27:38,657 --> 00:27:40,417 would we have to fill? 487 00:27:40,486 --> 00:27:43,765 - Um huh, I couldn't possibly number the number of foreign-- 488 00:27:43,834 --> 00:27:45,318 we would say to you right 489 00:27:45,387 --> 00:27:47,182 at this very beginning what country are you interested in, 490 00:27:47,251 --> 00:27:48,425 here's the criteria. 491 00:27:48,494 --> 00:27:49,564 If you fit that criteria you go 492 00:27:49,633 --> 00:27:51,186 through the home study assessment. 493 00:27:51,255 --> 00:27:52,463 You're meeting with your social worker, 494 00:27:52,532 --> 00:27:53,810 you're doing all of your paperwork. 495 00:27:53,879 --> 00:27:55,743 Complete all of the domestic paperwork as well 496 00:27:55,812 --> 00:27:58,021 as the paperwork needed for your immigration approval 497 00:27:58,090 --> 00:27:59,470 for the child. 498 00:27:59,539 --> 00:28:00,989 You're meeting with your social worker, you're coming 499 00:28:01,058 --> 00:28:02,681 to trainings, you're doing groups, your medical history, 500 00:28:02,750 --> 00:28:05,684 your legal history, your mental health history, your finances. 501 00:28:05,753 --> 00:28:07,996 You're writing an autobiography, which is then used later 502 00:28:08,065 --> 00:28:09,170 for your home study document. 503 00:28:09,239 --> 00:28:10,758 It also has supporting documentation 504 00:28:10,827 --> 00:28:12,138 that needs to be provided. 505 00:28:12,207 --> 00:28:13,864 It's going to be an enormous stack of paperwork 506 00:28:13,933 --> 00:28:16,004 and then you're putting together what we call your dossier 507 00:28:16,073 --> 00:28:18,213 through several levels of authentication. 508 00:28:18,282 --> 00:28:20,215 Families have to have a psychological evaluation, 509 00:28:20,284 --> 00:28:22,977 you're completing a medical form, a financial form. 510 00:28:23,046 --> 00:28:24,116 So it needs a notary. 511 00:28:24,185 --> 00:28:25,255 It needs a City Clerk stamp. 512 00:28:25,324 --> 00:28:26,981 It needs a State Department stamp. 513 00:28:27,050 --> 00:28:29,673 There's a lot of complexity to working out the medical issues 514 00:28:29,742 --> 00:28:31,640 and do some research and maybe talk to a pediatrician 515 00:28:31,710 --> 00:28:33,435 about do you have the reflective capacity. 516 00:28:33,504 --> 00:28:37,716 Not every family finds all of this possible. 517 00:28:39,441 --> 00:28:42,134 We really want to make sure that these children are in safe, 518 00:28:42,203 --> 00:28:44,792 loving, supportive and nurturing homes. 519 00:28:44,861 --> 00:28:46,897 And the best way that we know how to do that is 520 00:28:46,966 --> 00:28:51,522 to provide families with the training and the education. 521 00:28:51,591 --> 00:28:53,697 - Then later when we watched back the footage, 522 00:28:53,766 --> 00:28:55,181 we were both confused. 523 00:28:55,250 --> 00:28:57,528 What were all the agencies so scared of? 524 00:28:57,597 --> 00:28:59,392 I mean they seemed to be doing well. 525 00:28:59,461 --> 00:29:01,809 It looks like a very successful business to me, 526 00:29:01,878 --> 00:29:05,019 but then there is the question, "How does it work?" 527 00:29:05,088 --> 00:29:07,538 Where do all the kids come from? 528 00:29:07,607 --> 00:29:09,264 So we should be getting on with that enormous stack 529 00:29:09,333 --> 00:29:10,749 of papers she told us about. 530 00:29:10,818 --> 00:29:13,786 But to even get to that stack of paper it appears we need to go 531 00:29:13,855 --> 00:29:17,238 through several other stacks of paper. 532 00:29:17,307 --> 00:29:19,827 - Basically it looks like we have just to print 533 00:29:19,896 --> 00:29:21,276 out everything, fill it. 534 00:29:21,345 --> 00:29:24,038 So we have to print that one, that one, 535 00:29:24,107 --> 00:29:27,110 that one, this as well. 536 00:29:27,179 --> 00:29:30,561 And each form, when you have to fill it you have to pay the filling fees. 537 00:29:30,630 --> 00:29:35,946 So it's 700 here, it's 600 here and it's couple forms here. 538 00:29:36,913 --> 00:29:38,707 Are you ready to do it now? 539 00:29:39,639 --> 00:29:40,537 - Um uh. 540 00:29:40,606 --> 00:29:43,195 [silence] 541 00:29:47,509 --> 00:29:49,166 - When you don't know a lot 542 00:29:49,235 --> 00:29:50,892 about adoption, you never expect 543 00:29:50,961 --> 00:29:53,446 it would cost you a dime, right? 544 00:29:53,515 --> 00:29:57,796 Because we don't sell people in the 21st century. 545 00:29:57,865 --> 00:29:59,038 - Forty two. 546 00:29:59,107 --> 00:30:00,557 - Eight hundred eighty five. - Sixty six. 547 00:30:00,626 --> 00:30:04,147 - What? Do they do charge more for white kids, seriously? 548 00:30:04,216 --> 00:30:06,874 Prices depend on skin color, sex, age, 549 00:30:06,943 --> 00:30:09,290 country of origin, what's that? 550 00:30:09,359 --> 00:30:11,361 A market driven by demand and supply. 551 00:30:11,430 --> 00:30:14,053 Some birth mothers have given away as many as five, 552 00:30:14,122 --> 00:30:16,124 six of their babies already. 553 00:30:16,193 --> 00:30:17,470 The problem is though, 554 00:30:17,539 --> 00:30:19,541 they actually get paid for these children. 555 00:30:19,610 --> 00:30:21,992 On top of that, they often mention a history 556 00:30:22,061 --> 00:30:24,270 of drug abuse during pregnancy. 557 00:30:24,339 --> 00:30:26,031 Now that really is worrying. 558 00:30:26,100 --> 00:30:29,034 Aren't these mothers damaging the health of these children? 559 00:30:29,103 --> 00:30:32,313 And considering all of that, what should we know in order 560 00:30:32,382 --> 00:30:35,937 to give our future child the best chances in life? 561 00:30:38,975 --> 00:30:40,700 - If you don't know the parents 562 00:30:40,769 --> 00:30:43,565 and you don't really know the history I'm not sure 563 00:30:43,634 --> 00:30:47,915 that you would ever really get the truth, so it is a little bit 564 00:30:47,984 --> 00:30:52,057 of a chance and I think you have to be prepared. 565 00:30:52,126 --> 00:30:53,403 If the child is perfectly fine 566 00:30:53,472 --> 00:30:55,612 and everything is fine then that's wonderful, 567 00:30:55,681 --> 00:31:00,928 but there's a chance that the child may not be fine 568 00:31:00,997 --> 00:31:04,517 and there may be something wrong in some kind of subtle way 569 00:31:04,586 --> 00:31:07,072 and so there's a lot of-- there's a lot of information 570 00:31:07,141 --> 00:31:10,075 that you'd like to have that you don't necessarily have 571 00:31:10,144 --> 00:31:11,662 when you adopt. 572 00:31:11,731 --> 00:31:14,424 - For example, if you look at this chart there's no question 573 00:31:14,493 --> 00:31:19,843 that there is intergenerational transmission of addiction. 574 00:31:21,189 --> 00:31:23,778 We have certainly evidence about alcohol. 575 00:31:23,847 --> 00:31:26,160 We have a lot of evidence of about alcohol 576 00:31:26,229 --> 00:31:30,095 and how it can go through generations. 577 00:31:30,164 --> 00:31:33,926 - The point in a way is that for a long time people thought 578 00:31:33,995 --> 00:31:39,242 that people's troubles started after they were born, 579 00:31:39,311 --> 00:31:42,693 but I guess that there's many things 580 00:31:42,762 --> 00:31:45,420 that can affect your chances in life 581 00:31:45,489 --> 00:31:47,422 that happen before you are even born. 582 00:31:47,491 --> 00:31:50,425 - If you were going to draw an iceberg, 583 00:31:50,494 --> 00:31:53,221 the tip of the iceberg is what we call 584 00:31:53,290 --> 00:31:56,604 fetal alcohol syndrome, the most severe. 585 00:31:56,673 --> 00:32:00,919 However, the rest also has affects 586 00:32:00,988 --> 00:32:03,335 so that these children have central nervous system 587 00:32:03,404 --> 00:32:06,062 disorders, they have the facial features 588 00:32:06,131 --> 00:32:10,894 and they have poor growth not only in the fetus, 589 00:32:10,963 --> 00:32:14,725 they're born small, but they continue to stay small. 590 00:32:14,794 --> 00:32:18,143 - Even if you have-- the only piece of information you have 591 00:32:18,212 --> 00:32:19,868 about somebody is birth weight, 592 00:32:19,938 --> 00:32:24,425 on average you can predict you know that that has an affect 593 00:32:24,494 --> 00:32:27,876 on their future education, on their future earnings, 594 00:32:27,946 --> 00:32:30,638 on their future health, on the birth weight 595 00:32:30,707 --> 00:32:32,053 of their own children. 596 00:32:32,122 --> 00:32:35,022 So there's kind of an intergenerational effect. 597 00:32:35,091 --> 00:32:39,612 - If we look at the fetus, here's the embryo 598 00:32:39,681 --> 00:32:44,238 and you can see here that the red areas 599 00:32:44,307 --> 00:32:46,481 are major congenital anomalies. 600 00:32:46,550 --> 00:32:50,037 That is if an insult occurs at that time 601 00:32:50,106 --> 00:32:54,938 that you could possibly have major congenital abnormalities. 602 00:32:55,007 --> 00:32:58,286 - So there's things like not getting good nutrition 603 00:32:58,355 --> 00:33:02,911 when you're pregnant, being very stressed 604 00:33:02,981 --> 00:33:04,741 when you're pregnant, 605 00:33:04,810 --> 00:33:08,400 being exposed to pollution, things like smoking 606 00:33:08,469 --> 00:33:11,575 and drinking, which could be related to stress 607 00:33:11,644 --> 00:33:14,095 and have bad effects on the fetus. 608 00:33:14,164 --> 00:33:17,926 - The babies can have what we call neonatal 609 00:33:17,996 --> 00:33:20,515 abstinence syndrome. 610 00:33:20,584 --> 00:33:24,657 And what this means is that once you cut 611 00:33:24,726 --> 00:33:25,831 the umbilical cord, 612 00:33:25,900 --> 00:33:28,213 you have now cut the drug supply to the baby. 613 00:33:28,282 --> 00:33:32,665 And now the baby is going to withdraw from that drug, 614 00:33:32,734 --> 00:33:36,738 whatever the drug was, particularly in the opiates. 615 00:33:36,807 --> 00:33:39,948 That's where the most vigorous withdrawal occurs. 616 00:33:40,018 --> 00:33:43,642 And so what happens initially is the baby 617 00:33:43,711 --> 00:33:47,784 will have some tremors, 618 00:33:47,853 --> 00:33:50,200 start to shake just a little bit. 619 00:33:50,269 --> 00:33:52,754 [machine] 620 00:33:55,723 --> 00:33:59,968 And then those tremors can get worse and worse. 621 00:34:00,038 --> 00:34:01,763 [machine] 622 00:34:22,957 --> 00:34:24,269 - I'm an attorney, but the title 623 00:34:24,338 --> 00:34:26,719 that I have most often is Attorney for the Child 624 00:34:26,788 --> 00:34:31,138 and I represent children in trial in a variety of cases. 625 00:34:31,207 --> 00:34:35,383 You know I represented a little girl who had-- 626 00:34:35,452 --> 00:34:37,799 the mother was very limited. 627 00:34:37,868 --> 00:34:40,423 You know IQ wise she was probably just 628 00:34:40,492 --> 00:34:43,322 above what we would call you know developmentally disabled 629 00:34:43,391 --> 00:34:45,255 and the dad wasn't much better. 630 00:34:45,324 --> 00:34:47,602 He had a real problem because he kept getting arrested 631 00:34:47,671 --> 00:34:49,017 and getting locked up. 632 00:34:49,087 --> 00:34:51,434 And they had three children together, of course, 633 00:34:51,503 --> 00:34:52,711 because they fought all the time 634 00:34:52,780 --> 00:34:54,437 so naturally they would then have to 635 00:34:54,506 --> 00:34:56,024 have more kids together. 636 00:34:56,094 --> 00:34:57,854 She could parent one of those kids 637 00:34:57,923 --> 00:35:00,753 and she did a pretty good job when she had one at home. 638 00:35:00,822 --> 00:35:04,895 When there was more than one she became overwhelmed. 639 00:35:04,964 --> 00:35:08,382 I had a case when I was in the DA's office 640 00:35:08,451 --> 00:35:10,763 with parents who were both deaf. 641 00:35:10,832 --> 00:35:14,181 They were hard of hearing and they were watching TV 642 00:35:14,250 --> 00:35:16,528 and the kids kept running in front of the television set; 643 00:35:16,597 --> 00:35:18,599 the one little boy, particularly. 644 00:35:18,668 --> 00:35:20,497 And the father had just had it. 645 00:35:20,566 --> 00:35:22,120 He had just had it with this kid. 646 00:35:22,189 --> 00:35:25,123 So he picks him up and he goes in the bathroom and turns 647 00:35:25,192 --> 00:35:28,195 on the hot water and he runs the tub full of hot water 648 00:35:28,264 --> 00:35:33,165 and he dunks the kid into the hot water all the way 649 00:35:33,234 --> 00:35:35,305 up to about here. 650 00:35:35,374 --> 00:35:36,720 And this little boy had burns. 651 00:35:36,789 --> 00:35:38,170 His genitals were burned. 652 00:35:38,239 --> 00:35:39,620 His back was burned. 653 00:35:39,689 --> 00:35:43,865 His legs were burned because he held him in the tub. 654 00:35:43,934 --> 00:35:45,833 And this child was taken from the foster home 655 00:35:45,902 --> 00:35:47,697 where he had been for about a year 656 00:35:47,766 --> 00:35:49,664 and was placed with this couple. 657 00:35:49,733 --> 00:35:51,977 Now, I dealt with this from the criminal justice 658 00:35:52,046 --> 00:35:53,220 side of things. 659 00:35:53,289 --> 00:35:54,773 I didn't-- I wasn't part of the family court case 660 00:35:54,842 --> 00:35:57,431 so I didn't do the home study or anything like that. 661 00:35:57,500 --> 00:36:02,815 But what ended up happening was this child was beat to death 662 00:36:02,884 --> 00:36:08,338 and he-- he was a difficult child when he got here. 663 00:36:08,407 --> 00:36:11,583 And by that I mean most kids are difficult at age two. 664 00:36:11,652 --> 00:36:12,929 - Yeah, but-- - They like to say no. 665 00:36:12,998 --> 00:36:14,793 - They like to do whatever. - Right. 666 00:36:14,862 --> 00:36:18,555 - But these parents instead of being parents became engaged 667 00:36:18,624 --> 00:36:21,765 in this battle of wills with this child 668 00:36:21,834 --> 00:36:23,940 and you know he's not going to win that battle of wills 669 00:36:24,009 --> 00:36:28,220 because he's this big and they're adults. 670 00:36:28,289 --> 00:36:32,259 And he ended up in essence being beaten to death. 671 00:36:32,328 --> 00:36:34,951 When he died he had bruises all over his whole body, 672 00:36:35,020 --> 00:36:36,987 I mean all over his whole body. 673 00:36:37,056 --> 00:36:39,266 And he had internal injuries from having been struck 674 00:36:39,335 --> 00:36:42,165 so many times and so hard with various things. 675 00:36:42,234 --> 00:36:44,547 And both of those parents ended up going to prison 676 00:36:44,616 --> 00:36:47,274 not for as long as probably they deserved. 677 00:36:47,343 --> 00:36:48,999 There's a Judge in Monroe County who a number 678 00:36:49,068 --> 00:36:53,107 of years ago did issue an order to a parent she'd had, 679 00:36:53,176 --> 00:36:56,524 I want to say six children who had been taken from her 680 00:36:56,593 --> 00:36:58,595 and had her rights terminated to them. 681 00:36:58,664 --> 00:37:02,116 And she issued an order that this person could not have any more children, 682 00:37:02,185 --> 00:37:04,152 could not have any more children. 683 00:37:04,222 --> 00:37:07,984 [silence] 684 00:37:12,057 --> 00:37:16,026 - Hurt people hurt people. 685 00:37:16,095 --> 00:37:20,341 My mother, I learned, was abused by her mother. 686 00:37:20,410 --> 00:37:27,831 My mother was raised that in society in the 30s and 40s basically it was men, 687 00:37:27,900 --> 00:37:31,352 dog and way below that line was women. 688 00:37:31,421 --> 00:37:34,976 In society at the time we didn't talk about politics, sex, 689 00:37:35,045 --> 00:37:38,221 cancer, health and God forbid if you talked about 690 00:37:38,290 --> 00:37:40,430 what happened to you so many years ago. 691 00:37:40,499 --> 00:37:44,192 So psychologically speaking it's a learned behavior. 692 00:37:44,262 --> 00:37:46,678 After my mom held my arm over a gas stove 693 00:37:46,747 --> 00:37:48,231 for several seconds, 694 00:37:48,300 --> 00:37:52,270 she just burnt the arm, skin and I don't really want to get 695 00:37:52,339 --> 00:37:55,480 into it, but afterwards she threw me down the stairs 696 00:37:55,549 --> 00:37:57,413 where I lived in the basement. 697 00:37:57,482 --> 00:37:59,484 When it began in the very-- 698 00:37:59,553 --> 00:38:01,486 you know age three and a half, four, 699 00:38:01,555 --> 00:38:03,384 I believed I was a bad child. 700 00:38:03,453 --> 00:38:06,456 I cried too much or I was always somehow getting in trouble. 701 00:38:06,525 --> 00:38:09,770 I believed I deserved the treatment that I received. 702 00:38:09,839 --> 00:38:12,290 But as things digress, after age eight 703 00:38:12,359 --> 00:38:14,602 and especially before I was rescued, 704 00:38:14,671 --> 00:38:16,052 she wasn't the mom any more. 705 00:38:16,121 --> 00:38:19,952 She was another persona to me, to the point I-- 706 00:38:20,021 --> 00:38:25,026 she used to call me David, then the boy, then it. 707 00:38:25,095 --> 00:38:28,064 From age eight to age 12, I mean things got progressively worse, 708 00:38:28,133 --> 00:38:30,584 obviously between my mother and I. 709 00:38:30,653 --> 00:38:32,689 And I just had to develop little systems. 710 00:38:32,758 --> 00:38:35,520 I would hide food in a garbage can 711 00:38:35,589 --> 00:38:37,245 that she would lace with ammonia. 712 00:38:37,315 --> 00:38:39,869 Okay so the first time that didn't work. 713 00:38:39,938 --> 00:38:42,906 So now I take foil and paper towel and wrap it 714 00:38:42,975 --> 00:38:45,909 around the food so that maybe it would splash over 715 00:38:45,978 --> 00:38:48,567 or when I'd get physically beaten I had to learn 716 00:38:48,636 --> 00:38:51,190 to tighten parts of my body. 717 00:38:51,259 --> 00:38:53,538 When you're in the bottom of the basement 718 00:38:53,607 --> 00:38:54,677 again there is nothing, 719 00:38:54,746 --> 00:38:56,989 it's a void, it's less than zero. 720 00:38:57,058 --> 00:39:01,477 And I would hear the kids play and the cards in the spokes 721 00:39:01,546 --> 00:39:06,999 in the bikes running up and down the street and the glee. 722 00:39:07,068 --> 00:39:11,072 When everything is dark, your senses are so amplified. 723 00:39:11,141 --> 00:39:14,248 It's just like someone banging a gong in your heart 724 00:39:14,317 --> 00:39:16,699 and it just resonates and resonates and you just feel 725 00:39:16,768 --> 00:39:21,497 with every breath you take it just drains your life force. 726 00:39:21,566 --> 00:39:26,709 And that's when I basically almost quit, I almost I gave up. 727 00:39:26,778 --> 00:39:28,642 And when my mom would choke me, 728 00:39:28,711 --> 00:39:31,541 several times I remember my eyes were 729 00:39:31,610 --> 00:39:32,922 about to pop out of my socket. 730 00:39:32,991 --> 00:39:36,581 And you can feel yourself feel faint and go limp 731 00:39:36,650 --> 00:39:38,445 and I actually prayed, do it. 732 00:39:38,514 --> 00:39:41,344 Throw me down the stairs, stab me some more 733 00:39:41,413 --> 00:39:43,933 and I remember one time I just glared back at her, 734 00:39:44,002 --> 00:39:45,486 which I was not supposed to have contact. 735 00:39:45,555 --> 00:39:46,798 I just glared right at her. 736 00:39:46,867 --> 00:39:49,145 I hate to say this, I just remember thinking 737 00:39:49,214 --> 00:39:53,149 if you kill me I'm going to heaven and you are 738 00:39:53,218 --> 00:39:56,014 so staying in your own hell. 739 00:39:56,083 --> 00:39:58,119 - [Olga] When you were a child 740 00:39:58,188 --> 00:40:01,640 in an absolutely desperate situation, how did you see 741 00:40:01,709 --> 00:40:02,745 your future? 742 00:40:02,814 --> 00:40:04,022 What did you think about yourself 743 00:40:04,091 --> 00:40:05,679 like 20 years from that point? 744 00:40:05,748 --> 00:40:06,611 - You know-- 745 00:40:06,680 --> 00:40:08,923 - [Olga] Did you see any future? 746 00:40:11,650 --> 00:40:18,208 - I thought at the time I was going to live to be 400. 747 00:40:18,277 --> 00:40:23,490 I mean I didn't-- my thought process was different 748 00:40:23,559 --> 00:40:25,699 than other people. 749 00:40:25,768 --> 00:40:29,219 And I thought I'm going to be 400 and living in the basement 750 00:40:30,186 --> 00:40:32,499 and I thought my only hope was-- 751 00:40:32,568 --> 00:40:37,918 and this was toward the end before I was rescued. 752 00:40:37,987 --> 00:40:41,024 I thought if I can just live five days 753 00:40:41,093 --> 00:40:46,444 after she dies, then I can walk outside and I can be free. 754 00:40:47,583 --> 00:40:51,897 [piano music] 755 00:41:01,769 --> 00:41:05,117 [silence] 756 00:41:05,186 --> 00:41:08,017 - If you feed a kid, give them a house, get them to school 757 00:41:08,086 --> 00:41:09,432 and make sure that they get their shots, 758 00:41:09,501 --> 00:41:11,158 it doesn't mean you're a good parent in my opinion. 759 00:41:11,227 --> 00:41:13,263 It's harder to adopt a dog in this country 760 00:41:13,332 --> 00:41:15,024 than it is to have a child. 761 00:41:15,093 --> 00:41:16,266 There's no licensing required, 762 00:41:16,335 --> 00:41:18,786 no-one looks into your background. 763 00:41:18,855 --> 00:41:20,478 And to a certain extent I understand that. 764 00:41:20,547 --> 00:41:22,376 I don't necessarily want the United States government 765 00:41:22,445 --> 00:41:24,102 examining every woman and saying, well, 766 00:41:24,171 --> 00:41:25,241 you're fit to have a child 767 00:41:25,310 --> 00:41:27,554 and you're not fit to have a child. 768 00:41:27,623 --> 00:41:30,971 But when we look at the result on the other end of people 769 00:41:31,040 --> 00:41:32,490 who have children you know some 770 00:41:32,559 --> 00:41:34,975 of these people really I wouldn't let them have a 771 00:41:35,044 --> 00:41:38,012 goldfish much less a child if it were up to me, 772 00:41:38,081 --> 00:41:39,497 if it were my decision. 773 00:41:39,566 --> 00:41:42,154 [silence] 774 00:41:45,951 --> 00:41:48,022 - Oh boy, good question. 775 00:41:48,091 --> 00:41:50,093 - That you have certain criteria 776 00:41:50,162 --> 00:41:53,441 and certain requirements, oh I think it should be. 777 00:41:53,511 --> 00:41:58,826 - Definitely not in favor of that, because accidents happen 778 00:41:58,895 --> 00:42:01,001 in the bedroom, we know that. 779 00:42:01,070 --> 00:42:05,074 - I-- I'm really in conflict about it. 780 00:42:05,143 --> 00:42:06,489 - Because people right now they have kids 781 00:42:06,558 --> 00:42:09,078 and they regret why did they do it, not the kid 782 00:42:09,147 --> 00:42:11,321 but they regret the timing. 783 00:42:11,390 --> 00:42:13,323 - Hmm. 784 00:42:13,392 --> 00:42:15,671 - Overpopulation is a huge issue and there are lots 785 00:42:15,740 --> 00:42:19,191 of people having children that they just can't take care of, 786 00:42:19,260 --> 00:42:21,090 but I think that it is really infringing 787 00:42:21,159 --> 00:42:23,575 on our basic human rights and I think instead 788 00:42:23,644 --> 00:42:26,613 of making those laws they should invest that same time and energy 789 00:42:26,682 --> 00:42:29,961 in educating the populace and educating people 790 00:42:30,030 --> 00:42:33,412 about how difficult it is to be a parent. 791 00:42:36,139 --> 00:42:38,556 - One should be at least 18, because high school, 792 00:42:38,625 --> 00:42:40,143 you're going to graduate high school hopefully 793 00:42:40,212 --> 00:42:44,320 so that you can get a job where you can provide for a family. 794 00:42:44,389 --> 00:42:46,011 So, I mean I think that-- 795 00:42:46,080 --> 00:42:48,013 offhand I think the only criteria that I have 796 00:42:48,082 --> 00:42:50,257 in my head is that you're at least 18 and that you have a partner 797 00:42:50,326 --> 00:42:52,259 and that you're willing to do it. 798 00:42:52,328 --> 00:42:57,644 - It's a good idea, but I think it could become a bad idea. 799 00:42:59,646 --> 00:43:01,855 - This is actually a very good question. 800 00:43:01,924 --> 00:43:05,134 Which right is more important, the child's right to health 801 00:43:05,203 --> 00:43:08,620 and happiness or your right to parent? 802 00:43:11,209 --> 00:43:13,383 - Well, let us be clear of one thing, 803 00:43:13,452 --> 00:43:16,904 every child from the moment it's conceived 804 00:43:16,973 --> 00:43:20,356 in the mother's womb is life. 805 00:43:20,425 --> 00:43:24,325 - Until a child is born it's not fully a human being. 806 00:43:24,394 --> 00:43:29,261 It still takes the participation of the mother's body 807 00:43:29,330 --> 00:43:33,196 and the experience of giving birth for it 808 00:43:33,265 --> 00:43:35,371 to become a full human being. 809 00:43:35,440 --> 00:43:38,581 - Well human for a child, at five years old. 810 00:43:38,650 --> 00:43:41,549 My mama, you know right your mama is your first teacher. 811 00:43:41,619 --> 00:43:43,448 Your mother is your first teacher. 812 00:43:43,517 --> 00:43:45,933 At five years old we knew right from wrong. 813 00:43:46,002 --> 00:43:48,004 My mama had five kids. 814 00:43:48,073 --> 00:43:49,592 - We were what nine, ten. 815 00:43:49,661 --> 00:43:50,420 - Nine, ten. 816 00:43:50,489 --> 00:43:51,698 - Um huh. 817 00:43:51,767 --> 00:43:53,113 - When they are an adult. 818 00:43:53,182 --> 00:43:56,012 When they're old enough to make their own decisions 819 00:43:56,081 --> 00:43:59,291 and be able to function as an adult. 820 00:43:59,360 --> 00:44:02,812 - Legal and social institutions, 821 00:44:02,881 --> 00:44:05,712 they don't have a lot to say. 822 00:44:05,781 --> 00:44:08,093 [silence] 823 00:44:11,131 --> 00:44:14,272 - The rights of any individual is 824 00:44:14,341 --> 00:44:18,069 in relationship to where you live. 825 00:44:18,138 --> 00:44:19,898 - [Michael] Northwest Alabama. 826 00:44:19,967 --> 00:44:21,555 Amanda Kimbrough was arrested shortly 827 00:44:21,624 --> 00:44:24,109 after her third child died at 19 minutes old. 828 00:44:24,178 --> 00:44:25,697 When Kimbrough was tested positive 829 00:44:25,766 --> 00:44:28,458 for methamphetamine her first two daughters were physically 830 00:44:28,527 --> 00:44:31,082 removed from her custody and she was charged 831 00:44:31,151 --> 00:44:33,740 with chemical endangerment of her child. 832 00:44:33,809 --> 00:44:36,743 Alabama became the national capital of prosecuting parents 833 00:44:36,812 --> 00:44:38,606 on behalf of newborn children. 834 00:44:38,676 --> 00:44:40,747 With this as a precedent, the states of New Jersey, 835 00:44:40,816 --> 00:44:44,578 California, South Carolina, Tennessee, Arizona, 836 00:44:44,647 --> 00:44:47,719 Texas now also remove kids from abusive birth mothers 837 00:44:47,788 --> 00:44:51,343 who use illegal drugs and methadone during pregnancy. 838 00:44:51,412 --> 00:44:55,485 The question is how far are they prepared to go. 839 00:44:57,211 --> 00:44:59,524 The United Kingdom, 2008, 840 00:44:59,593 --> 00:45:01,560 a couple with seven children were warned 841 00:45:01,629 --> 00:45:04,218 that they could lose custody of their severely obese children 842 00:45:04,287 --> 00:45:07,014 if they failed to manage their weight. 843 00:45:07,083 --> 00:45:09,879 In December 2011 the kids were taken away 844 00:45:09,948 --> 00:45:11,536 and put in foster care. 845 00:45:11,605 --> 00:45:15,574 The parents will never be able to contact them again. 846 00:45:15,643 --> 00:45:17,576 They have already removed 14 of these kids 847 00:45:17,645 --> 00:45:19,820 from different families in the UK alone. 848 00:45:19,889 --> 00:45:23,272 Norway, the government takes children away for eating 849 00:45:23,341 --> 00:45:26,585 with their fingers and sharing a bed with their parents. 850 00:45:26,654 --> 00:45:28,691 It looks like it's already too late. 851 00:45:28,760 --> 00:45:31,176 Apparently we missed the moment when governments decided 852 00:45:31,245 --> 00:45:35,318 that they would control a parent's rights. 853 00:45:35,387 --> 00:45:37,769 Well known for his controversial studies in his book 854 00:45:37,838 --> 00:45:40,461 "The Population Bomb," the godfather of family planning 855 00:45:40,530 --> 00:45:43,637 in the U.S., Professor Paul Ralph Ehrlich, could be the man 856 00:45:43,706 --> 00:45:45,087 with an answer. 857 00:45:45,156 --> 00:45:48,469 - The craziest idea socially and the one that we have 858 00:45:48,538 --> 00:45:52,680 discussed but never supported, was to find some way 859 00:45:52,750 --> 00:45:55,925 to make everybody sterile so that if they wanted 860 00:45:55,994 --> 00:45:58,721 to have a child they would have to take an antidote 861 00:45:58,790 --> 00:46:03,899 so that having a baby would require a positive step. 862 00:46:03,968 --> 00:46:08,179 And people hate that idea, think it's really terrible. 863 00:46:08,248 --> 00:46:09,697 But, of course, if you do that 864 00:46:09,767 --> 00:46:11,769 there'd be no more abortion problems and all of us would 865 00:46:11,838 --> 00:46:13,667 like to see you get rid of abortion. 866 00:46:13,736 --> 00:46:15,289 There'd be no more unwanted children. 867 00:46:15,358 --> 00:46:17,809 If they can't manage their reproductive instinct, 868 00:46:17,878 --> 00:46:19,984 then their children are going to live miserable lives 869 00:46:20,053 --> 00:46:23,090 and civilization is going to eventually collapse. 870 00:46:23,159 --> 00:46:24,712 There's massive evidence 871 00:46:24,782 --> 00:46:28,371 that people can manage their reproductive instincts. 872 00:46:28,440 --> 00:46:32,168 For example, as far back as during imperial Egypt 873 00:46:32,237 --> 00:46:35,033 thousands of years ago women used 874 00:46:35,102 --> 00:46:37,553 crocodile dung suppositories 875 00:46:37,622 --> 00:46:39,313 to control their reproduction. 876 00:46:39,382 --> 00:46:43,007 Now I don't know whether crocodile dung suppositories 877 00:46:43,076 --> 00:46:44,422 were effective. 878 00:46:44,491 --> 00:46:48,288 I suspect they were though; no studies were done. 879 00:46:48,357 --> 00:46:53,534 - Well, why did you decide to have one child? 880 00:46:53,603 --> 00:46:56,883 - Well, one of the reasons was it's the responsible thing to do. 881 00:46:56,952 --> 00:47:00,127 If you care about the environment you can do much more 882 00:47:00,196 --> 00:47:02,302 by limiting your reproduction than you can 883 00:47:02,371 --> 00:47:05,581 by say driving a hybrid car. 884 00:47:05,650 --> 00:47:07,134 In other words, if you want to-- 885 00:47:07,203 --> 00:47:09,965 I would like to see a world where we have maybe a billion 886 00:47:10,034 --> 00:47:11,621 or a billion and a half people 887 00:47:11,690 --> 00:47:14,383 and everybody can lead a decent life 888 00:47:14,452 --> 00:47:15,936 and their children can grow-- 889 00:47:16,005 --> 00:47:19,215 remember it shouldn't be what number of children you want 890 00:47:19,284 --> 00:47:20,768 to have, it's got to be what kind 891 00:47:20,838 --> 00:47:22,736 of life do you want the kids to have? 892 00:47:22,805 --> 00:47:25,290 What kind of world do you want them to live in? 893 00:47:25,359 --> 00:47:27,879 The idea that I should have nine children 894 00:47:27,948 --> 00:47:31,124 because I want nine children, that's a very selfish thing 895 00:47:31,193 --> 00:47:32,608 to do in the world today. 896 00:47:32,677 --> 00:47:36,439 You're taking resources away both from your first kids 897 00:47:36,508 --> 00:47:38,925 and also from everybody else's kids as well. 898 00:47:38,994 --> 00:47:42,929 - Do you really believe that government one day will come up 899 00:47:42,998 --> 00:47:47,312 with a law that will actually restrict people's rights 900 00:47:47,381 --> 00:47:48,727 to have children? 901 00:47:48,796 --> 00:47:51,385 - Well, government did come up with a law in China 902 00:47:51,454 --> 00:47:53,905 where it restricted rights of people to have children. 903 00:47:53,974 --> 00:47:56,494 Ann and I have hoped that we could always avoid that, 904 00:47:56,563 --> 00:47:59,255 that actually we could change by cultural change, 905 00:47:59,324 --> 00:48:02,396 by gradual change, by incentives and so on. 906 00:48:02,465 --> 00:48:04,812 But you, you know you never can tell what nutty things 907 00:48:04,882 --> 00:48:06,262 government will do. 908 00:48:06,331 --> 00:48:08,713 [airplane] 909 00:48:08,782 --> 00:48:11,509 [driving music] 910 00:48:11,578 --> 00:48:13,545 - [Olga] The one child policy of China officially restricts 911 00:48:13,614 --> 00:48:19,448 urban dwelling couples to having one child only by law. 912 00:48:19,517 --> 00:48:22,554 The policy has prevented 400 million births in China 913 00:48:22,623 --> 00:48:25,730 between 1979 and 2011. 914 00:48:25,799 --> 00:48:28,664 But, according to Bureau Research Center, 76 percent 915 00:48:28,733 --> 00:48:32,840 of the Chinese population actually support the policy. 916 00:48:32,910 --> 00:48:35,395 So the Chinese government decided to allow development 917 00:48:35,464 --> 00:48:37,811 of new breakthrough birth control technology 918 00:48:37,880 --> 00:48:39,226 such as Novicol. 919 00:48:39,295 --> 00:48:40,987 That would empower the women by giving them choice 920 00:48:41,056 --> 00:48:43,610 and it would help to eliminate unexpected pregnancies 921 00:48:43,679 --> 00:48:47,614 and sexually transmitted diseases including HIV. 922 00:48:47,683 --> 00:48:49,996 To understand the one child policy effect, I decided 923 00:48:50,065 --> 00:48:52,584 to ask some ordinary people and to talk with an old friend 924 00:48:52,653 --> 00:48:55,484 of mine, philanthropist, UNESCO Goodwill Ambassador 925 00:48:55,553 --> 00:48:58,418 and one of the most famous TV hosts 926 00:48:58,487 --> 00:49:00,006 in China, James Chau. 927 00:49:00,075 --> 00:49:01,628 Was it a good thing for China 928 00:49:01,697 --> 00:49:04,251 or was it a bad thing for China 929 00:49:04,320 --> 00:49:05,804 or you just can't say right now? 930 00:49:05,873 --> 00:49:08,117 - I don't think we really know the full story 931 00:49:08,186 --> 00:49:11,879 and we can only look back maybe in 100 years and look 932 00:49:11,949 --> 00:49:15,331 at the full impact it's had and be able to judge based 933 00:49:15,400 --> 00:49:18,472 on what we really do to fully know. 934 00:49:18,541 --> 00:49:24,478 But, you have to understand whether you like it or not 935 00:49:24,547 --> 00:49:25,997 without getting to the rights and wrongs, 936 00:49:26,066 --> 00:49:27,619 and really not getting to the rights and wrongs of this 937 00:49:27,688 --> 00:49:30,036 because that's a different argument. 938 00:49:30,105 --> 00:49:32,486 China was a very poor country. 939 00:49:32,555 --> 00:49:38,147 It could hardly have the capacity to feed its own 940 00:49:38,216 --> 00:49:42,980 and its population was growing faster and faster and faster. 941 00:49:43,049 --> 00:49:46,431 And it needed a way to put a stop to that 942 00:49:46,500 --> 00:49:48,295 or to slow it down. 943 00:49:48,364 --> 00:49:50,021 Is this the right way? 944 00:49:50,090 --> 00:49:55,302 I don't know, but it succeeded and it achieved. 945 00:49:55,371 --> 00:49:59,927 Economic reforms pulled out hundreds of millions of people 946 00:49:59,997 --> 00:50:04,932 out of poverty, and slowing down the population growth 947 00:50:05,002 --> 00:50:10,076 ensured that people in some ways had a better life, 948 00:50:10,145 --> 00:50:12,009 so it's hard to say. 949 00:50:14,735 --> 00:50:17,531 [foreign language spoken] 950 00:50:28,128 --> 00:50:31,028 It's funny because you have four grandparents, two parents, 951 00:50:31,097 --> 00:50:36,723 one child; all that focus, all that ambition, all that hope, 952 00:50:36,792 --> 00:50:41,279 all that desire, all that love is channeling 953 00:50:41,348 --> 00:50:43,557 from four grandparents to two parents. 954 00:50:43,626 --> 00:50:44,869 - So there's one kid-- - It's all focusing-- 955 00:50:44,938 --> 00:50:46,284 - Gets lot of attention a lot of-- 956 00:50:46,353 --> 00:50:49,839 - Attention or sometimes pressure or sometimes love 957 00:50:49,908 --> 00:50:52,221 or sometimes all that put together. 958 00:50:52,290 --> 00:50:53,774 It's, it's incredible. 959 00:50:53,843 --> 00:50:55,983 You see the way it's moved. 960 00:50:56,053 --> 00:50:58,883 [martial arts] 961 00:51:02,680 --> 00:51:05,303 I think people want choice. 962 00:51:05,372 --> 00:51:08,996 - I think that's what's beautiful about the world. - Yeah. 963 00:51:09,066 --> 00:51:12,621 - And I think in terms of having children, I think not necessarily 964 00:51:12,690 --> 00:51:14,726 people want to say, I want to have more 965 00:51:14,795 --> 00:51:18,247 than one child, but maybe they want to say, I want 966 00:51:18,316 --> 00:51:21,975 to have the possibility of having more than one child. 967 00:51:22,700 --> 00:51:25,841 [foreign language spoken] 968 00:51:33,607 --> 00:51:35,126 - So you truly really believe 969 00:51:35,195 --> 00:51:37,715 that no one should control the reproductive rights of people? 970 00:51:37,784 --> 00:51:40,752 - I think we have to be careful because once we start saying 971 00:51:40,821 --> 00:51:43,238 that you don't have the right to do this, 972 00:51:43,307 --> 00:51:44,515 it opens the door to say 973 00:51:44,584 --> 00:51:46,172 that they don't have the right to do a lot 974 00:51:46,241 --> 00:51:47,966 of other things as well. 975 00:51:48,035 --> 00:51:51,694 [fast music] 976 00:51:56,147 --> 00:51:58,632 [silence] 977 00:52:00,565 --> 00:52:02,705 [typing on keyboard] 978 00:52:02,774 --> 00:52:05,812 [shuffling papers] 979 00:52:15,546 --> 00:52:17,341 [silence] 980 00:52:17,410 --> 00:52:19,205 - That's enough. 981 00:52:19,274 --> 00:52:21,172 Plan B. 982 00:52:21,241 --> 00:52:23,933 - If you decided to adopt one of those children-- 983 00:52:24,002 --> 00:52:26,936 - [Michael] Dawa owns a community school in Nepal. 984 00:52:27,005 --> 00:52:30,768 He suggested we consider adopting a child from there. 985 00:52:30,837 --> 00:52:32,252 - Teachers are living there. 986 00:52:32,321 --> 00:52:35,013 They eat there, they live there and they study there. 987 00:52:35,082 --> 00:52:37,844 So it's a totally boarding school, yeah. 988 00:52:37,913 --> 00:52:40,329 Okay, so here's a postcard from my school. 989 00:52:40,398 --> 00:52:43,021 So you can take a look and these are the children 990 00:52:43,090 --> 00:52:44,885 from the school. 991 00:52:44,954 --> 00:52:47,612 I want you to go there in person 992 00:52:47,681 --> 00:52:51,513 and if you like to adopt then 993 00:52:51,582 --> 00:52:54,101 that will be the first option and-- 994 00:52:54,171 --> 00:52:56,552 - How long would it take in the whole process here? 995 00:52:56,621 --> 00:52:58,175 - It could take couple of months. 996 00:52:58,244 --> 00:52:59,106 - A couple of months? 997 00:52:59,176 --> 00:52:59,728 - A couple of months. 998 00:52:59,797 --> 00:53:02,765 [rhythmic music] 999 00:53:06,700 --> 00:53:10,290 [outdoor sounds] 1000 00:53:26,893 --> 00:53:29,275 - [Olga] After a nine hour drive and another nine hours 1001 00:53:29,344 --> 00:53:33,520 trekking through the Himalayas, we finally 1002 00:53:33,589 --> 00:53:37,317 [bells ringing] 1003 00:53:37,386 --> 00:53:41,425 [foreign language spoken] 1004 00:53:41,494 --> 00:53:42,667 - I'm Olga. 1005 00:53:42,736 --> 00:53:46,740 [children singing] 1006 00:53:59,408 --> 00:54:00,444 - They stay here. 1007 00:54:00,513 --> 00:54:01,479 They sleep here. 1008 00:54:01,548 --> 00:54:02,722 They eat here and they-- 1009 00:54:02,791 --> 00:54:04,033 - Everything. 1010 00:54:04,102 --> 00:54:05,897 - What classes do they have? 1011 00:54:05,966 --> 00:54:09,936 - We have English one and English two-- 1012 00:54:10,005 --> 00:54:12,318 - We spoke to the principal who told us a bit about life 1013 00:54:12,387 --> 00:54:14,975 in the community school and encouraged us to have a look 1014 00:54:15,044 --> 00:54:17,564 around and attend some classes. 1015 00:54:17,633 --> 00:54:19,842 I've been to many orphanages in my life 1016 00:54:19,911 --> 00:54:22,500 but this little hideaway for kids broke my heart. 1017 00:54:22,569 --> 00:54:24,640 There are no toys, no heating system. 1018 00:54:24,709 --> 00:54:27,471 They don't even have a proper roof. 1019 00:54:27,540 --> 00:54:30,059 - A-B-C-D-E-F-G. 1020 00:54:30,128 --> 00:54:32,717 - [group singing] A-B-C-D-E-F-G. 1021 00:54:32,786 --> 00:54:35,064 - H-I-J-K-L-M-N-O. 1022 00:54:35,133 --> 00:54:38,102 - [group singing] H-I-J-K-L-M-N-O. 1023 00:54:38,171 --> 00:54:39,966 - P-Q-R-S-T-U-V. 1024 00:54:40,035 --> 00:54:42,624 - [group singing] P-Q-R-S-T-U-V. 1025 00:54:42,693 --> 00:54:44,350 - W-X-Y-Z. 1026 00:54:44,419 --> 00:54:47,214 - [group singing] W-X-Y-Z. 1027 00:54:47,284 --> 00:54:48,871 [children singing] 1028 00:54:50,356 --> 00:54:54,981 [children playing] 1029 00:55:01,850 --> 00:55:03,161 - [Michael] These kids came to live at the school 1030 00:55:03,230 --> 00:55:05,578 because their parents have either abandoned them 1031 00:55:05,647 --> 00:55:07,959 or been unable to care for them. 1032 00:55:08,028 --> 00:55:10,065 This young girl burned her leg in a fire. 1033 00:55:10,134 --> 00:55:12,757 She couldn't work any more, so her parents threw her 1034 00:55:12,826 --> 00:55:15,104 out into the street like a piece of trash. 1035 00:55:15,173 --> 00:55:17,797 She had to cross the Himalayas to get here. 1036 00:55:17,866 --> 00:55:20,351 This journey cost her her foot. 1037 00:55:23,043 --> 00:55:24,424 - And you are here by yourself. 1038 00:55:24,493 --> 00:55:27,427 - Yes. - When did you see your mother last time? 1039 00:55:28,704 --> 00:55:30,119 - I don't know about my mother. 1040 00:55:30,188 --> 00:55:31,983 - You never met her? - No. 1041 00:55:32,052 --> 00:55:34,779 - And your father, when did you see him last time? 1042 00:55:37,610 --> 00:55:38,645 - I don't know. 1043 00:55:38,714 --> 00:55:42,062 [children talking] 1044 00:55:54,903 --> 00:55:55,973 - Nice to meet you. 1045 00:55:56,042 --> 00:55:56,767 - Nice to meet you too. 1046 00:55:56,836 --> 00:55:58,941 - Hi, I'm Mike. 1047 00:55:59,010 --> 00:56:01,427 - Despite such living conditions, they remain positive 1048 00:56:01,496 --> 00:56:02,669 and full of hope. 1049 00:56:02,738 --> 00:56:04,947 I wish I could give them a better life. 1050 00:56:05,016 --> 00:56:07,433 But will this ever be possible? 1051 00:56:07,502 --> 00:56:08,951 What is your name? 1052 00:56:09,020 --> 00:56:10,746 - If for example somebody would like to adopt one 1053 00:56:10,815 --> 00:56:14,440 of your kids, would you allow to do that? 1054 00:56:14,509 --> 00:56:16,890 [foreign language spoken] 1055 00:56:20,100 --> 00:56:21,585 - You would love to do that. 1056 00:56:21,654 --> 00:56:22,551 - You would allow that? 1057 00:56:22,620 --> 00:56:24,415 - Yes, he would allow that. 1058 00:56:42,537 --> 00:56:43,745 - Yes, she would allow. 1059 00:56:43,814 --> 00:56:46,264 - She would allow. 1060 00:56:46,333 --> 00:56:47,990 - How can this be? 1061 00:56:48,059 --> 00:56:49,923 Could you give away your child just like that 1062 00:56:49,992 --> 00:56:52,478 to somebody you never met before? 1063 00:56:54,272 --> 00:56:56,067 I have never seen such detachment 1064 00:56:56,136 --> 00:56:58,622 between parents and their children. 1065 00:56:58,691 --> 00:57:01,866 [children singing] 1066 00:57:08,286 --> 00:57:11,151 [bell ringing] 1067 00:57:12,705 --> 00:57:14,534 [helicopter] 1068 00:57:14,603 --> 00:57:16,363 - [Olga] When it was time to go, a few of the kids 1069 00:57:16,433 --> 00:57:19,436 ran over give us some letters they had written. 1070 00:57:23,163 --> 00:57:25,062 When we were reading them on our way back 1071 00:57:25,131 --> 00:57:27,823 across the mountains, I felt bad about leaving them. 1072 00:57:27,892 --> 00:57:29,411 I felt guilty. 1073 00:57:29,480 --> 00:57:32,172 We couldn't help but think about their hopes and dreams 1074 00:57:32,241 --> 00:57:34,381 and their chances in life. 1075 00:57:34,451 --> 00:57:37,039 If we really intend to bring one of these children 1076 00:57:37,108 --> 00:57:40,146 into our family we should learn more about their country, 1077 00:57:40,215 --> 00:57:43,839 their culture, where have they come from. 1078 00:57:43,908 --> 00:57:46,601 So we decided to explore Nepal in more depth. 1079 00:57:46,670 --> 00:57:49,051 [outdoor sounds] 1080 00:57:50,639 --> 00:57:53,193 [foreign language spoken] 1081 00:57:54,401 --> 00:57:57,163 Nepal has extremely rich natural resources, 1082 00:57:57,232 --> 00:57:58,923 but it's still one of the poorest 1083 00:57:58,992 --> 00:58:02,375 and most underdeveloped countries in the world. 1084 00:58:02,444 --> 00:58:05,620 Half the population lives on less than two dollars a day. 1085 00:58:05,689 --> 00:58:07,587 There are few places on the planet where you'll see 1086 00:58:07,656 --> 00:58:10,659 so many children either roaming and begging on the streets 1087 00:58:10,728 --> 00:58:13,628 or slaving in the fields. 1088 00:58:16,562 --> 00:58:19,841 Every second child under five years old is malnourished 1089 00:58:19,910 --> 00:58:22,291 and over a third are underweight. 1090 00:58:22,360 --> 00:58:23,879 There are more than a million orphans 1091 00:58:23,948 --> 00:58:25,881 and abandoned children in Nepal. 1092 00:58:25,950 --> 00:58:27,918 81 percent of women give birth 1093 00:58:27,987 --> 00:58:30,403 in the home, and according to UNICEF, 1094 00:58:30,472 --> 00:58:34,269 one in 20 children will die before the age of five. 1095 00:58:34,338 --> 00:58:36,167 Those who will survive will serve to provide 1096 00:58:36,236 --> 00:58:39,170 for their parents and newborn siblings. 1097 00:58:39,239 --> 00:58:41,103 Is this her only baby? 1098 00:58:41,172 --> 00:58:42,691 - [foreign language spoken] 1099 00:58:42,760 --> 00:58:45,832 - She have four children. 1100 00:58:45,901 --> 00:58:48,663 - [foreign language spoken] 1101 00:58:48,732 --> 00:58:50,112 - Two sons, two daughters. 1102 00:58:50,181 --> 00:58:53,115 - And who is taking care of three children while she's here? 1103 00:58:53,184 --> 00:58:55,532 [foreign language spoken] 1104 00:59:10,063 --> 00:59:12,652 [silence] 1105 00:59:14,171 --> 00:59:17,312 [outdoor sounds] 1106 00:59:19,521 --> 00:59:21,765 - [Olga] What is the average size of a family here? 1107 00:59:21,834 --> 00:59:23,283 - Four, five, six. 1108 00:59:23,352 --> 00:59:25,803 - [Olga] Four, five, six children. 1109 00:59:25,872 --> 00:59:27,874 - Do children go to school? - No. 1110 00:59:27,943 --> 00:59:31,188 - [Olga] No, they don't go to school. 1111 00:59:31,257 --> 00:59:33,397 - They are poor so how will they go to school? 1112 00:59:33,466 --> 00:59:35,468 - [Olga] School is, you need to pay money for school, right? 1113 00:59:35,537 --> 00:59:36,952 - Yeah, you need to pay money, yeah. 1114 00:59:37,021 --> 00:59:38,229 - [Olga] Okay, so they just don't go to school at all. 1115 00:59:38,298 --> 00:59:41,612 - It's something like if they go to school 1116 00:59:41,681 --> 00:59:45,547 who will make those stones? 1117 00:59:45,616 --> 00:59:48,792 - [Olga] What is her biggest dream about the children? 1118 00:59:48,861 --> 00:59:53,210 [foreign language spoken] 1119 00:59:59,285 --> 01:00:01,252 Can she read and write? 1120 01:00:01,321 --> 01:00:03,427 [foreign language spoken] 1121 01:00:07,465 --> 01:00:11,090 - She said [speech drowned out by children's laughter]. 1122 01:00:11,159 --> 01:00:13,402 One other point is that they don't have time. 1123 01:00:13,471 --> 01:00:15,266 Second thing is like they're poor. 1124 01:00:15,335 --> 01:00:17,268 Third thing they need to fill their belly. 1125 01:00:17,337 --> 01:00:20,755 - [Olga] Yeah. - Fourth thing is all the family business, 1126 01:00:20,824 --> 01:00:22,342 kind of family business they need 1127 01:00:22,411 --> 01:00:25,656 to help their father and mother. 1128 01:00:25,725 --> 01:00:28,555 - [Olga] Many children escape their duties at home 1129 01:00:28,625 --> 01:00:29,660 and walk for days 1130 01:00:29,729 --> 01:00:32,283 to the capital city of Kathmandu. 1131 01:00:32,352 --> 01:00:35,217 Here they are exploited and forced to beg. 1132 01:00:35,286 --> 01:00:36,563 Their dreams crumble 1133 01:00:36,633 --> 01:00:40,291 and they turn to religion for salvation. 1134 01:00:40,360 --> 01:00:42,535 In Hindu temples coins are placed on the eyes 1135 01:00:42,604 --> 01:00:45,089 of the dead before they are burned. 1136 01:00:45,158 --> 01:00:48,437 Then the remains are dumped in the river. 1137 01:00:48,506 --> 01:00:51,509 Abandoned by their parents, starving children struggle 1138 01:00:51,578 --> 01:00:54,685 to survive by searching for these coins 1139 01:00:54,754 --> 01:00:58,137 in this polluted water. 1140 01:00:58,206 --> 01:01:00,484 So the community school, which at first glance seemed 1141 01:01:00,553 --> 01:01:03,729 like a kid's prison, now appears to be more of a paradise 1142 01:01:03,798 --> 01:01:07,802 where they at least have access to food and basic education. 1143 01:01:11,046 --> 01:01:12,669 I remembered how a friend of mine once said 1144 01:01:12,738 --> 01:01:16,017 that we all have different dreams, yet most of them 1145 01:01:16,086 --> 01:01:19,192 will never come true, like flying to the moon. 1146 01:01:19,261 --> 01:01:21,608 Having a child was his unreachable dream. 1147 01:01:21,678 --> 01:01:24,853 He spent 10 years in prison and was HIV positive. 1148 01:01:24,922 --> 01:01:28,029 But then a miracle happened and he adopted a child. 1149 01:01:28,098 --> 01:01:29,513 Now when he looks at other parents 1150 01:01:29,582 --> 01:01:32,619 with other kids he thinks they don't realize how lucky 1151 01:01:32,689 --> 01:01:33,828 they are. 1152 01:01:33,897 --> 01:01:36,693 And when I look around, I also wonder how can 1153 01:01:36,762 --> 01:01:40,593 so many people take their children for granted like this. 1154 01:01:40,662 --> 01:01:43,251 [driving music] 1155 01:01:56,160 --> 01:01:57,748 - That's where I live right in that 1156 01:01:57,817 --> 01:02:00,993 apartment right there, 1C. 1157 01:02:01,062 --> 01:02:02,649 It was-- it was full of people 1158 01:02:02,719 --> 01:02:05,514 out here just hanging out you know. 1159 01:02:05,583 --> 01:02:07,689 There's always activity outside. 1160 01:02:07,758 --> 01:02:10,381 There's always something can jump off like violence, 1161 01:02:10,450 --> 01:02:13,695 someone's going to you know get into a fight. 1162 01:02:13,764 --> 01:02:17,250 At times you even had people throwing stuff off the roof, 1163 01:02:17,319 --> 01:02:20,529 you know, cans or Molotov cocktails. 1164 01:02:20,598 --> 01:02:25,189 I remember just having friends from school that didn't know 1165 01:02:25,258 --> 01:02:27,571 where I lived and they would drop me off here. 1166 01:02:27,640 --> 01:02:29,642 And they would say, "Oh my gosh, you live there?" 1167 01:02:29,711 --> 01:02:30,885 And I was like why? 1168 01:02:30,954 --> 01:02:35,579 It's nothing wrong, you know, everyone knows me. 1169 01:02:35,648 --> 01:02:37,408 But the thing was there wasn't a lot 1170 01:02:37,477 --> 01:02:40,515 of positive male role models around. 1171 01:02:40,584 --> 01:02:43,449 You know, there was guys they was talking about 1172 01:02:43,518 --> 01:02:46,107 how they're going to make money selling weed 1173 01:02:46,176 --> 01:02:50,214 or they trying to commit a burglary 1174 01:02:50,283 --> 01:02:51,975 or robberies you know. 1175 01:02:52,044 --> 01:02:56,669 It wasn't too much about like, "How do I get into college?" 1176 01:02:56,738 --> 01:02:58,844 - [Michael] Chris did go to college and went 1177 01:02:58,913 --> 01:03:00,397 on to join the police force. 1178 01:03:00,466 --> 01:03:03,227 He has even become Police Officer of the Year, 1179 01:03:03,296 --> 01:03:04,781 but arresting didn't feel right. 1180 01:03:04,850 --> 01:03:07,300 He wanted to prevent people from committing crimes 1181 01:03:07,369 --> 01:03:08,992 so he became a youth officer. 1182 01:03:09,061 --> 01:03:13,617 - And this one here I'm most proud of because never 1183 01:03:13,686 --> 01:03:18,380 in a 100 years would I believe that I would get an award 1184 01:03:18,449 --> 01:03:21,211 when I was a youngster to get an award 1185 01:03:21,280 --> 01:03:22,695 with working with the youth. 1186 01:03:22,764 --> 01:03:26,250 I'm very happy to-- I'm very honored and humbled to get 1187 01:03:26,319 --> 01:03:28,321 that award, because I believe that's 1188 01:03:28,390 --> 01:03:33,810 where, you know, I was created to work with kids. 1189 01:03:35,639 --> 01:03:38,055 My dream growing up was, you know, is 1190 01:03:38,124 --> 01:03:39,470 what I saw, what I 1191 01:03:39,539 --> 01:03:42,128 want to have a kid out here. 1192 01:03:42,197 --> 01:03:44,303 I want to have an apartment. 1193 01:03:44,372 --> 01:03:47,340 The government-- I don't really have to work. 1194 01:03:47,409 --> 01:03:49,756 The government is going to pay for my apartment. 1195 01:03:49,826 --> 01:03:53,622 If I want food, they have food stamps. 1196 01:03:53,691 --> 01:03:56,763 So it-- I wasn't really around you know-- 1197 01:03:56,833 --> 01:03:59,421 it was what I, I was a product of the environment. 1198 01:03:59,490 --> 01:04:01,458 It was what I saw and that's basically 1199 01:04:01,527 --> 01:04:04,944 what I wanted for my life. 1200 01:04:07,153 --> 01:04:10,777 I would say 90 percent of the ones that got in trouble, 1201 01:04:10,847 --> 01:04:13,815 they had no father figure around. 1202 01:04:13,884 --> 01:04:17,577 A lot of my friends here-- unfortunately some 1203 01:04:17,646 --> 01:04:19,821 of them have been arrested. 1204 01:04:19,890 --> 01:04:25,033 Almost all of those guys never, never made it out here 1205 01:04:25,102 --> 01:04:27,173 or they passed away, 1206 01:04:27,242 --> 01:04:29,658 or they got caught up in drugs. 1207 01:04:29,727 --> 01:04:34,422 They took some drugs and it took a physical effect on them. 1208 01:04:34,491 --> 01:04:35,906 The awards look great, 1209 01:04:35,975 --> 01:04:38,667 but behind those awards was a lot of, a lot of anger. 1210 01:04:38,736 --> 01:04:41,325 Like I said, everything was dealt with with violence. 1211 01:04:41,394 --> 01:04:44,570 So I felt like, what in order for me to clean 1212 01:04:44,639 --> 01:04:49,057 up the streets, I have to arrest everybody. 1213 01:04:49,126 --> 01:04:50,610 - I've been to prison before. 1214 01:04:50,679 --> 01:04:53,130 You know, I've been to prison 1215 01:04:53,199 --> 01:04:55,961 and I made wrong choices too, 1216 01:04:56,030 --> 01:04:58,032 but I wouldn't, I wanted-- 1217 01:04:58,101 --> 01:05:00,206 you know I explained that to him to let him know. 1218 01:05:00,275 --> 01:05:02,105 And the choices that I made I had to 1219 01:05:02,174 --> 01:05:03,830 suffer the consequences. 1220 01:05:03,900 --> 01:05:08,352 And I guess as him growing up I was never away from him. 1221 01:05:08,421 --> 01:05:09,975 And I guess when I went to prison 1222 01:05:10,044 --> 01:05:14,082 for two years probably put an impact on him. 1223 01:05:14,151 --> 01:05:16,360 - [Olga] So you're from a family of how many kids? 1224 01:05:16,429 --> 01:05:18,190 - A family of seven. 1225 01:05:18,259 --> 01:05:19,432 - Seven. 1226 01:05:19,501 --> 01:05:21,262 - Four brothers and two sisters and I'm 1227 01:05:21,331 --> 01:05:24,541 like the middle child, yeah. 1228 01:05:24,610 --> 01:05:25,714 - Did they finish school? 1229 01:05:25,783 --> 01:05:27,302 - No see, that's what I'm saying. 1230 01:05:27,371 --> 01:05:30,581 When we was-- we all chose the wrong path. 1231 01:05:30,650 --> 01:05:32,998 And then when I had Kiyon I'm looking at him. 1232 01:05:33,067 --> 01:05:37,795 I want him to break the cycle to not repeat, 1233 01:05:37,864 --> 01:05:40,626 to be successful with his self because he look 1234 01:05:40,695 --> 01:05:42,110 at his uncles and cousins. 1235 01:05:42,179 --> 01:05:43,456 None of them finished school. 1236 01:05:43,525 --> 01:05:46,425 None of them have a high school diploma. 1237 01:05:46,494 --> 01:05:48,116 They don't have good jobs. 1238 01:05:48,185 --> 01:05:51,499 - [Olga] How many of you get in problems with the police? 1239 01:05:51,568 --> 01:05:54,191 How many of you get in prison? 1240 01:05:54,260 --> 01:05:55,779 - Out of my sisters and brothers? 1241 01:05:55,848 --> 01:05:57,022 - Yeah. 1242 01:05:57,091 --> 01:05:58,609 - All of us. 1243 01:05:58,678 --> 01:06:01,992 Excuse me, all of us, yeah. [laughs] 1244 01:06:02,061 --> 01:06:04,684 You know it's not funny but all of us you know. 1245 01:06:04,753 --> 01:06:08,136 Because like I said, we made bad decisions. 1246 01:06:08,205 --> 01:06:09,793 You know I don't have no regrets. 1247 01:06:09,862 --> 01:06:13,279 You know 'cause I'm trying to do the best I can you know. 1248 01:06:13,348 --> 01:06:15,074 I am a good mother. 1249 01:06:15,143 --> 01:06:16,041 - You are, yeah. 1250 01:06:16,110 --> 01:06:17,249 - I try to do the best I can. 1251 01:06:17,318 --> 01:06:18,733 - [Olga] If there is one thing that you can fix 1252 01:06:18,802 --> 01:06:21,046 in your life, what would it be? 1253 01:06:21,115 --> 01:06:23,600 - To be employed. 1254 01:06:23,669 --> 01:06:28,432 If I can just be employed and show my son 1255 01:06:28,501 --> 01:06:32,540 and daughter that it's better. 1256 01:06:32,609 --> 01:06:33,990 - But how can you get it? 1257 01:06:34,059 --> 01:06:37,924 How can you get it, I mean why didn't you get it? 1258 01:06:37,994 --> 01:06:41,514 - Because like I told you I was a single mother. 1259 01:06:41,583 --> 01:06:45,070 You know running around with the wrong crowd too. 1260 01:06:45,139 --> 01:06:48,073 I, excuse me. 1261 01:06:48,142 --> 01:06:49,212 - It's okay. 1262 01:06:49,281 --> 01:06:50,868 When people cry, it's a good sign. 1263 01:06:50,937 --> 01:06:53,423 It means that we are still human. 1264 01:06:55,356 --> 01:06:59,429 - Just ran around with the wrong crowd 1265 01:06:59,498 --> 01:07:02,604 and made the wrong decisions. 1266 01:07:07,506 --> 01:07:10,095 - The thing that I learned most from reporting 1267 01:07:10,164 --> 01:07:12,994 on three low income families 1268 01:07:13,063 --> 01:07:16,756 over seven years, was the importance 1269 01:07:16,825 --> 01:07:20,967 of having responsible men in their lives. 1270 01:07:21,037 --> 01:07:24,143 Pretty much without exception part of what's-- 1271 01:07:24,212 --> 01:07:26,801 this isn't just me talking, but part of what impressed me 1272 01:07:26,870 --> 01:07:30,391 so much was that they could articulate it, both the women 1273 01:07:30,460 --> 01:07:32,117 and their children talked of wishing-- 1274 01:07:32,186 --> 01:07:34,360 the women wished they had a father in their own lives 1275 01:07:34,429 --> 01:07:36,224 when they were kids and they wished they had a responsible 1276 01:07:36,293 --> 01:07:37,708 partner in their lives now. 1277 01:07:37,777 --> 01:07:39,158 And the kids talked about missing their father. 1278 01:07:39,227 --> 01:07:41,229 One of the fathers of the family I was following was 1279 01:07:41,298 --> 01:07:42,679 in prison for life. 1280 01:07:42,748 --> 01:07:45,509 - Studies show that crime is linked to children born outside 1281 01:07:45,578 --> 01:07:48,685 of marriage, that you have much higher crime rates 1282 01:07:48,754 --> 01:07:54,656 from children born where the father is absent, 1283 01:07:54,725 --> 01:07:56,175 there's nobody to discipline them. 1284 01:07:56,244 --> 01:07:59,040 So really the more entrepreneurial ones are then 1285 01:07:59,109 --> 01:08:01,146 the ones who might do very well if they're raised 1286 01:08:01,215 --> 01:08:02,526 in a middle class culture, 1287 01:08:02,595 --> 01:08:05,115 devote their entrepreneurial instincts to crime, 1288 01:08:05,184 --> 01:08:07,600 because you know that is the business they can see 1289 01:08:07,669 --> 01:08:09,637 in their neighborhood. 1290 01:08:09,706 --> 01:08:11,087 They don't expect to work 1291 01:08:11,156 --> 01:08:14,676 because they get the subsistence paid for by the government. 1292 01:08:14,745 --> 01:08:16,161 So you see how this begins 1293 01:08:16,230 --> 01:08:19,336 to affect all the cultural attitudes that you see, 1294 01:08:19,405 --> 01:08:22,028 all the cultural practices that you see. 1295 01:08:22,098 --> 01:08:23,651 - There's a big educational divide, 1296 01:08:23,720 --> 01:08:28,863 so people with four year college degrees are marrying 1297 01:08:28,932 --> 01:08:31,486 and staying married as much or more 1298 01:08:31,555 --> 01:08:33,868 than they were 20 years ago. 1299 01:08:33,937 --> 01:08:36,181 People without four year college degrees 1300 01:08:36,250 --> 01:08:37,354 are having increasingly 1301 01:08:37,423 --> 01:08:39,011 having children outside of marriage. 1302 01:08:39,080 --> 01:08:45,190 A big gap has grown up between the educational haves 1303 01:08:45,259 --> 01:08:47,192 and the educational have-nots. 1304 01:08:47,261 --> 01:08:50,850 [driving] 1305 01:09:01,309 --> 01:09:05,520 - I got evicted, lost my housing so I had nowhere else to go 1306 01:09:05,589 --> 01:09:10,249 so I wound up here and it's where I've been. 1307 01:09:11,285 --> 01:09:12,493 - [Michael] Do you have kids? 1308 01:09:12,562 --> 01:09:14,978 - I have five boys. - [Michael] Five boys. 1309 01:09:15,047 --> 01:09:18,775 - Yeah, and sometimes I need to go see them but I don't have 1310 01:09:18,844 --> 01:09:20,570 like transportation to get there to go see them 1311 01:09:20,639 --> 01:09:22,951 and it's hard you know. 1312 01:09:24,608 --> 01:09:27,301 - [Michael] Your early pregnancy, did 1313 01:09:27,370 --> 01:09:28,233 - Yeah. 1314 01:09:28,302 --> 01:09:29,544 - [Michael] How? 1315 01:09:29,613 --> 01:09:31,891 - Because it stopped me from going to school. 1316 01:09:31,960 --> 01:09:34,618 A lot of, a lot of women the first child especially 1317 01:09:34,687 --> 01:09:37,138 if you school or you got a career going on, 1318 01:09:37,207 --> 01:09:38,691 that sets you back, 1319 01:09:38,760 --> 01:09:40,866 because you got to put the baby first. 1320 01:09:40,935 --> 01:09:42,661 You know you go to take care of that child. 1321 01:09:42,730 --> 01:09:45,422 You know some things, you have a child some things that you used 1322 01:09:45,491 --> 01:09:46,561 to do you can't do it no more. 1323 01:09:46,630 --> 01:09:47,942 You got to put it aside you know, 1324 01:09:48,011 --> 01:09:50,116 to take care of that child. 1325 01:09:53,361 --> 01:09:56,606 [silence] 1326 01:09:58,263 --> 01:10:00,713 - Well, when you live an entire culture of poverty 1327 01:10:00,782 --> 01:10:04,027 where nobody really is working consistently, 1328 01:10:04,096 --> 01:10:05,649 nobody is really getting married, 1329 01:10:05,718 --> 01:10:08,273 the children are all born outside of marriage, 1330 01:10:08,342 --> 01:10:10,344 everybody thinks that's a normal thing to do. 1331 01:10:10,413 --> 01:10:15,003 And so you're creating culturally reinforcing attitudes 1332 01:10:15,072 --> 01:10:16,142 that reinforce the incentives. 1333 01:10:16,212 --> 01:10:18,144 - The share of children being born 1334 01:10:18,214 --> 01:10:20,768 to single mothers is now higher than it's ever been. 1335 01:10:20,837 --> 01:10:24,150 So in that sense the [inaudible] was a huge disappointment. 1336 01:10:24,220 --> 01:10:25,876 - And what is percentage if you know? 1337 01:10:25,945 --> 01:10:27,809 - Nationwide-- - Yeah. 1338 01:10:27,878 --> 01:10:30,950 - About 42 percent of children are born to single mothers now. 1339 01:10:31,019 --> 01:10:33,229 - It's income-based so you need a low income. 1340 01:10:33,298 --> 01:10:37,854 If you have more children then you qualify for more benefits 1341 01:10:37,923 --> 01:10:42,168 and so as a result you get low income and more children, 1342 01:10:42,238 --> 01:10:44,274 because that's what you're paying for. 1343 01:10:44,343 --> 01:10:47,553 - Angel Adams says her children are a gift from God, 1344 01:10:47,622 --> 01:10:49,935 but now she needs help caring for them. 1345 01:10:50,004 --> 01:10:53,663 Adams has 15 children, 12 who are now living with her 1346 01:10:53,732 --> 01:10:55,216 in this small motel room. 1347 01:10:55,285 --> 01:11:00,117 - Somebody needs to pay for all my children and mine 1348 01:11:00,186 --> 01:11:03,776 and Gary all our suffering, all our pain, somebody needs 1349 01:11:03,845 --> 01:11:06,917 to be held accountable and they need to pay. 1350 01:11:06,986 --> 01:11:09,126 - We know from substantial research in the United States 1351 01:11:09,195 --> 01:11:13,890 that even a year in poverty can have long-term consequences 1352 01:11:13,959 --> 01:11:15,823 for a child's development. 1353 01:11:15,892 --> 01:11:17,963 - [Michael] In just one year? - Yes. 1354 01:11:18,032 --> 01:11:21,691 - It's going to create a whole cycle of poverty and violence 1355 01:11:21,760 --> 01:11:24,487 because if you have let's say 8, 10 kids 1356 01:11:24,556 --> 01:11:25,936 and you can't afford 1357 01:11:26,005 --> 01:11:29,492 to give them the proper shoes, the proper clothes, 1358 01:11:29,561 --> 01:11:31,839 the equipment that they need 1359 01:11:31,908 --> 01:11:33,841 for school or sports, 1360 01:11:33,910 --> 01:11:35,739 if the kid doesn't have good values, they're going to get 1361 01:11:35,808 --> 01:11:38,501 that money from robbing somebody, 1362 01:11:38,570 --> 01:11:42,574 from selling drugs or stealing it. 1363 01:11:42,643 --> 01:11:45,404 And now that kid is going to get introduced 1364 01:11:45,473 --> 01:11:50,271 to the criminal justice system and it's going to be a cycle. 1365 01:11:52,894 --> 01:11:57,209 Well, Brandon, he wants to change. 1366 01:11:57,278 --> 01:12:00,212 You know, you can talk to kids, but they will listen to you 1367 01:12:00,281 --> 01:12:03,249 and they don't want to really do he work. 1368 01:12:03,319 --> 01:12:07,806 He wants to do the work and I see that he has this desire 1369 01:12:07,875 --> 01:12:11,361 to get out, and why not help him? 1370 01:12:11,430 --> 01:12:12,776 He's part of the community. 1371 01:12:12,845 --> 01:12:16,435 - If you're not getting love from your household, 1372 01:12:16,504 --> 01:12:18,920 obviously you're going to get up and go outside and try 1373 01:12:18,989 --> 01:12:21,164 to find it from your friends, you know. 1374 01:12:21,233 --> 01:12:23,373 And if your friends is bad influence and they're 1375 01:12:23,442 --> 01:12:25,582 into doing stuff like that, you're going to jump 1376 01:12:25,651 --> 01:12:28,689 on the wagon and want to do bad stuff too, you know. 1377 01:12:28,758 --> 01:12:30,484 - Yeah. 1378 01:12:30,553 --> 01:12:33,349 - My dream is to be alive by 25. 1379 01:12:34,902 --> 01:12:36,144 - Who's your role model? 1380 01:12:36,213 --> 01:12:37,767 Who is the person you look up at? 1381 01:12:37,836 --> 01:12:42,427 - Honestly, I don't have one at all, at all. 1382 01:12:42,496 --> 01:12:43,669 I couldn't even say my father. 1383 01:12:43,738 --> 01:12:45,878 My father was never there for me. 1384 01:12:45,947 --> 01:12:47,639 So I can't-- I don't have one, I don't. 1385 01:12:47,708 --> 01:12:49,365 And my big brother has been in jail 1386 01:12:49,434 --> 01:12:51,712 for all his teenage life. 1387 01:12:51,781 --> 01:12:53,955 So, myself bitch. 1388 01:12:54,024 --> 01:12:55,163 You got to look in the mirror 1389 01:12:55,232 --> 01:12:57,752 and I see my role model in my own reflection. 1390 01:12:57,821 --> 01:12:59,616 - Do you want to have your own family? 1391 01:12:59,685 --> 01:13:04,241 - Yeah, of course. I should be having a baby pretty soon, on the way. 1392 01:13:04,310 --> 01:13:06,278 - You're going to have a baby pretty soon? 1393 01:13:06,347 --> 01:13:07,348 - Yeah. 1394 01:13:07,417 --> 01:13:08,453 - Cool. How old are you? 1395 01:13:08,522 --> 01:13:09,557 - Sixteen. 1396 01:13:09,626 --> 01:13:11,456 - Congrats. 1397 01:13:11,525 --> 01:13:12,664 - It's going to be hard, 1398 01:13:12,733 --> 01:13:15,701 but I'm not going to quit on my child. 1399 01:13:15,770 --> 01:13:17,185 That's my child like-- 1400 01:13:17,254 --> 01:13:20,706 - How do you see yourself when you make it to 25? 1401 01:13:20,775 --> 01:13:22,225 And I'm pretty sure you will. 1402 01:13:22,294 --> 01:13:25,193 - I'm going to have like five jobs. 1403 01:13:25,262 --> 01:13:26,229 - Five jobs? 1404 01:13:26,298 --> 01:13:27,368 - Yeah. 1405 01:13:27,437 --> 01:13:29,059 - I'm going to have a nice little, 1406 01:13:29,128 --> 01:13:31,752 a nice little studio crib. 1407 01:13:31,821 --> 01:13:34,651 You know I like to rap sometimes too. 1408 01:13:34,720 --> 01:13:36,308 So, y'all have never seen me rapping. 1409 01:13:36,377 --> 01:13:40,657 Honestly, I don't like rapping in front of people, 1410 01:13:40,726 --> 01:13:46,352 like I will have like three cars, wild girls you know. 1411 01:13:47,906 --> 01:13:51,910 I'll have like five stripper poles in my house. 1412 01:13:51,979 --> 01:13:55,085 You know calls some strippers over [inaudible]. 1413 01:13:55,154 --> 01:13:58,813 And you know I'll just live the lavish lifestyle. 1414 01:13:58,882 --> 01:14:01,506 I don't, I'm tired of being at the bottom. 1415 01:14:01,575 --> 01:14:03,024 I mean-- 1416 01:14:03,093 --> 01:14:05,233 - [Olga] So this is your dream when you are making to 25? 1417 01:14:05,302 --> 01:14:07,650 - Yeah, I want to make lots of money, you could say that. 1418 01:14:07,719 --> 01:14:09,617 - [Olga] Now what I didn't see 1419 01:14:09,686 --> 01:14:13,587 when you are 25 is your nine-year-old baby, yeah. 1420 01:14:13,656 --> 01:14:14,380 - Oh yeah. 1421 01:14:14,450 --> 01:14:15,140 - Where is your-- 1422 01:14:15,209 --> 01:14:16,624 - Oh yeah, I forgot. 1423 01:14:16,693 --> 01:14:17,901 - Sorry about it, oh. 1424 01:14:18,971 --> 01:14:21,905 So was it a planned baby or it just happened? 1425 01:14:21,974 --> 01:14:23,769 - It just happened. 1426 01:14:23,838 --> 01:14:24,943 It's life. 1427 01:14:25,012 --> 01:14:27,946 [electronic music] 1428 01:14:44,307 --> 01:14:47,724 [machines] 1429 01:14:47,793 --> 01:14:51,072 [electronic music] 1430 01:14:58,390 --> 01:15:01,876 - Hi. - Oh, finally, finally we met, very good. 1431 01:15:01,945 --> 01:15:03,740 - How are you? - Good. Come on in. 1432 01:15:03,809 --> 01:15:07,364 - Thank you very much. - Advocates for Youth was established in 1980 and the work 1433 01:15:07,433 --> 01:15:10,851 that we do is to champion policies and programs 1434 01:15:10,920 --> 01:15:12,404 that help young people make informed 1435 01:15:12,473 --> 01:15:14,613 and responsible decisions about sex. 1436 01:15:14,682 --> 01:15:16,995 - When we are talking about a teenage pregnancy, 1437 01:15:17,064 --> 01:15:19,100 how big is the problem? What are the numbers? 1438 01:15:19,169 --> 01:15:21,344 Is it a problem at all for the United States? 1439 01:15:21,413 --> 01:15:24,071 - Well, the United States has a pretty large problem 1440 01:15:24,140 --> 01:15:25,590 in teenage pregnancy. 1441 01:15:25,659 --> 01:15:29,076 If you look at the numbers, we have 10,000 young people 1442 01:15:29,145 --> 01:15:32,320 everyday that get a sexually transmitted disease, 1443 01:15:32,389 --> 01:15:37,256 2500 get pregnant and another 25 get HIV. 1444 01:15:37,325 --> 01:15:39,707 So, this is a big number. 1445 01:15:39,776 --> 01:15:42,296 The rates of teenage pregnancy and birth have gone down, 1446 01:15:42,365 --> 01:15:46,127 but it's still the highest of any industrialized country. 1447 01:15:46,196 --> 01:15:48,751 The teen pregnancy rate is about five times 1448 01:15:48,820 --> 01:15:52,064 that of Germany or France. 1449 01:15:52,133 --> 01:15:53,894 The teen birth rate is about eight times 1450 01:15:53,963 --> 01:15:55,205 that of the Netherlands. 1451 01:15:55,274 --> 01:15:57,898 The teen gonorrhea rate is about 400 times 1452 01:15:57,967 --> 01:15:59,071 that of the Netherlands. 1453 01:15:59,140 --> 01:16:02,212 We sell everything from, you know, 1454 01:16:02,281 --> 01:16:04,456 hamburgers to cars with sex. 1455 01:16:04,525 --> 01:16:07,217 And I think the most important thing is 1456 01:16:07,286 --> 01:16:08,529 that young people need 1457 01:16:08,598 --> 01:16:11,705 to learn to think critically for themselves 1458 01:16:11,774 --> 01:16:14,811 and really challenge some of what they're seeing 1459 01:16:14,880 --> 01:16:16,882 so that they can address issues 1460 01:16:16,951 --> 01:16:18,643 as they see them on the media 1461 01:16:18,712 --> 01:16:21,887 and think through why is, 1462 01:16:21,956 --> 01:16:24,649 why is it that we don't have condom ads? 1463 01:16:24,718 --> 01:16:26,547 What is the society telling us 1464 01:16:26,616 --> 01:16:28,998 and how is it affecting the way I behave? 1465 01:16:29,067 --> 01:16:31,207 On the one hand, we see sex 1466 01:16:31,276 --> 01:16:32,726 and everything is so sexualized, 1467 01:16:32,795 --> 01:16:35,487 and then on the other hand you're telling me just say no. 1468 01:16:35,556 --> 01:16:41,148 It becomes a very difficult sort of thing to navigate. 1469 01:16:42,252 --> 01:16:43,702 So often a young person 1470 01:16:43,771 --> 01:16:47,292 who finds themselves pregnant might hide that pregnancy 1471 01:16:47,361 --> 01:16:50,157 for a very long time before she's willing to share it 1472 01:16:50,226 --> 01:16:51,952 with a parent or another person. 1473 01:16:52,021 --> 01:16:54,264 We know that about 40 percent of young people 1474 01:16:54,333 --> 01:16:57,682 who find themselves pregnant do choose abortion 1475 01:16:57,751 --> 01:17:01,237 and the rest by and large keep the child. 1476 01:17:01,306 --> 01:17:03,964 There's very, a very, very small percentage 1477 01:17:04,033 --> 01:17:07,208 that give their babies up for adoption. 1478 01:17:07,277 --> 01:17:08,416 - [Michael] This is Brianna. 1479 01:17:08,485 --> 01:17:10,660 Having got pregnant at 17 years old, 1480 01:17:10,729 --> 01:17:11,868 she became one of the few 1481 01:17:11,937 --> 01:17:13,525 who was able to put her child up for adoption. 1482 01:17:13,594 --> 01:17:16,148 - Just make sure. - I know this one was my favorite one. 1483 01:17:16,217 --> 01:17:17,909 I was pretty sure that I didn't want to have an abortion, 1484 01:17:17,978 --> 01:17:21,326 that I wanted to place him for adoption. 1485 01:17:21,395 --> 01:17:26,400 But my mom was not so sure as I was, so she wanted me 1486 01:17:26,469 --> 01:17:28,851 to come back to New York and go to a doctor 1487 01:17:28,920 --> 01:17:30,369 and you know hear about it 1488 01:17:30,438 --> 01:17:31,957 and try and keep an open mind 1489 01:17:32,026 --> 01:17:33,752 and consider having an abortion. 1490 01:17:33,821 --> 01:17:36,686 So I did go to the doctor and that's kind of 1491 01:17:36,755 --> 01:17:38,101 when it was final for me, 1492 01:17:38,170 --> 01:17:41,311 because I was almost three months when I found out. 1493 01:17:41,380 --> 01:17:42,899 So just you know, I went to the doctor 1494 01:17:42,968 --> 01:17:45,937 and he told me what the procedure is to have an abortion 1495 01:17:46,006 --> 01:17:48,284 and I saw the sonogram and I saw his little heart beating 1496 01:17:48,353 --> 01:17:52,564 and you know that was it. So that kind of-- 1497 01:17:52,633 --> 01:17:54,670 I grew up without a lot of stability in my life, 1498 01:17:54,739 --> 01:17:57,638 sort of moving around forever, so I wanted him 1499 01:17:57,707 --> 01:18:01,953 to be with people who just were very solid. 1500 01:18:02,022 --> 01:18:04,783 When I found his parents through Spence, 1501 01:18:04,852 --> 01:18:09,270 Sarah and Carlos are their names, I just loved 1502 01:18:09,339 --> 01:18:13,481 that they were so open to him being whoever he is. 1503 01:18:13,550 --> 01:18:16,346 - [Olga] Did you feel like at certain stages of your pregnancy 1504 01:18:16,415 --> 01:18:20,523 that you wanted to change your mind and keep the child? 1505 01:18:20,592 --> 01:18:23,181 - I mean there definitely were moments when I was like oh, 1506 01:18:23,250 --> 01:18:25,286 it would be so great you know and sort of 1507 01:18:25,355 --> 01:18:27,392 my guilty pleasure was like when I was out in public 1508 01:18:27,461 --> 01:18:29,428 and like talking to people. 1509 01:18:29,497 --> 01:18:30,878 I wouldn't tell them that he was going to be adopted. 1510 01:18:30,947 --> 01:18:33,225 Like I got to sort of savor that and be like yeah, 1511 01:18:33,294 --> 01:18:35,572 I'm so excited he's going to be born. 1512 01:18:35,641 --> 01:18:39,438 But it was just so clear from the very beginning 1513 01:18:39,507 --> 01:18:42,269 that it just wasn't an option. 1514 01:18:42,338 --> 01:18:44,616 And I just, whenever that happened I just had to sort 1515 01:18:44,685 --> 01:18:46,204 of be able to recognize in myself that that was 1516 01:18:46,273 --> 01:18:48,620 like the selfish part of me being like, no, I want to keep him, 1517 01:18:48,689 --> 01:18:52,175 and that it really just wasn't what was best for him. 1518 01:18:52,244 --> 01:18:54,799 His Irish eyes, like mine and his eyelashes. 1519 01:18:54,868 --> 01:18:59,320 The joy so overwhelms how painful it was. 1520 01:19:01,978 --> 01:19:06,327 And as far as how painful I thought it was going to be, 1521 01:19:06,396 --> 01:19:10,055 I think I prepared myself as best as someone can be prepared 1522 01:19:10,124 --> 01:19:11,194 for that kind of thing. 1523 01:19:11,263 --> 01:19:13,265 And I love his adoptive parents so much 1524 01:19:13,334 --> 01:19:15,474 that I just was really at peace with the decision. 1525 01:19:15,543 --> 01:19:19,237 So, it was painful but also happy 1526 01:19:19,306 --> 01:19:22,240 because my pain was for me, not for him. 1527 01:19:22,309 --> 01:19:23,931 I knew that he was in such good hands 1528 01:19:24,000 --> 01:19:25,899 and what can you want 1529 01:19:25,968 --> 01:19:29,523 besides a healthy, happy baby. 1530 01:19:29,592 --> 01:19:32,664 I was no longer with his father, 1531 01:19:32,733 --> 01:19:35,218 so definitely that is part of it. 1532 01:19:35,287 --> 01:19:39,498 I wanted him to have a dad and I think 1533 01:19:39,567 --> 01:19:41,846 that raising a child, the number one thing 1534 01:19:41,915 --> 01:19:46,298 really is just having a support, 1535 01:19:46,367 --> 01:19:48,197 because no one person you know-- 1536 01:19:48,266 --> 01:19:50,337 they say it takes a village and it's sort 1537 01:19:50,406 --> 01:19:51,752 of cliché, but it's true. 1538 01:19:51,821 --> 01:19:53,719 I really just was alone. 1539 01:19:53,789 --> 01:19:55,480 I don't know, he just looks so delicate 1540 01:19:55,549 --> 01:19:56,688 and gentle in this picture. 1541 01:19:56,757 --> 01:19:59,691 He's so like white and puffy and soft. 1542 01:20:02,038 --> 01:20:06,732 I feel like there is a certain attitude that people take 1543 01:20:06,802 --> 01:20:09,356 and everyone wants to be positive and everything 1544 01:20:09,425 --> 01:20:10,840 and say like oh, you know-- 1545 01:20:10,909 --> 01:20:16,570 and definitely single mothers are, I'm very impressed 1546 01:20:16,639 --> 01:20:21,471 with them now like having gone through, but-- 1547 01:20:22,956 --> 01:20:25,993 [silence] 1548 01:20:26,062 --> 01:20:28,789 I just don't think that love really solves everything. 1549 01:20:28,858 --> 01:20:31,412 I feel like people think, "Oh, if you love your child 1550 01:20:31,481 --> 01:20:33,898 "then everything will work out and be okay." 1551 01:20:33,967 --> 01:20:36,072 But that's not true, because if there were 1552 01:20:36,141 --> 01:20:38,178 then there wouldn't be starving children all over the world, 1553 01:20:38,247 --> 01:20:42,113 or, you know, love just doesn't feed children 1554 01:20:42,182 --> 01:20:45,530 or buy diapers or any of that. 1555 01:20:45,599 --> 01:20:47,601 So just being in a place in your life 1556 01:20:47,670 --> 01:20:49,361 that you can provide stability 1557 01:20:49,430 --> 01:20:51,847 and I couldn't even provide it for myself. 1558 01:20:52,848 --> 01:20:55,436 [outdoor sounds] 1559 01:20:59,785 --> 01:21:03,410 [traffic] 1560 01:21:04,583 --> 01:21:06,068 - [Olga] When I think of Brianna, 1561 01:21:06,137 --> 01:21:10,210 I wonder if I would be able to make such a sacrifice. 1562 01:21:10,279 --> 01:21:13,869 [rhythmic music] 1563 01:21:17,734 --> 01:21:22,601 We drove to Georgia to see our friends, Jill and Lee. 1564 01:21:23,844 --> 01:21:27,779 They have three kids, two boys [inaudible] 1565 01:21:27,848 --> 01:21:29,574 and a girl Kiya. 1566 01:21:29,643 --> 01:21:32,715 To us, they are the ultimate parents to learn from. 1567 01:21:32,784 --> 01:21:35,097 - What happened? That's funny. 1568 01:21:35,166 --> 01:21:36,581 Turn the lights back on. 1569 01:21:36,650 --> 01:21:38,824 I think parenting is probably one of the hardest jobs. 1570 01:21:38,894 --> 01:21:41,655 You want to have a child. It's a full-time job. 1571 01:21:41,724 --> 01:21:44,969 Everything that we do, we do it for our children. 1572 01:21:45,038 --> 01:21:46,832 Maybe just a little bit harder. 1573 01:21:46,902 --> 01:21:48,282 Shake, shake. 1574 01:21:48,351 --> 01:21:51,044 - You know we're both teachers, so we're dealing with a lot 1575 01:21:51,113 --> 01:21:53,218 of experience dealing with kids, 1576 01:21:53,287 --> 01:21:54,564 teaching and coaching, 1577 01:21:54,633 --> 01:21:55,841 kids from a young age all the way up. 1578 01:21:55,911 --> 01:21:57,498 We've had a lot of experience with kids 1579 01:21:57,567 --> 01:21:59,776 and I think we had good role models around us. 1580 01:21:59,845 --> 01:22:02,641 - And before we had kids we did talk about what kind 1581 01:22:02,710 --> 01:22:04,436 of child we wanted to raise 1582 01:22:04,505 --> 01:22:05,990 and how are we going to go about it? 1583 01:22:06,059 --> 01:22:07,508 How do we want to discipline? 1584 01:22:07,577 --> 01:22:08,509 Do we want to spank? 1585 01:22:08,578 --> 01:22:10,822 Do we want to use time-out? 1586 01:22:10,891 --> 01:22:13,514 And these are things that we wanted to agree on 1587 01:22:13,583 --> 01:22:15,240 before we did have a family, 1588 01:22:15,309 --> 01:22:16,724 because that's very important. 1589 01:22:17,794 --> 01:22:19,175 So as new parents you're expecting 1590 01:22:19,244 --> 01:22:21,557 to have a healthy child and you really don't expect 1591 01:22:21,626 --> 01:22:23,731 to have a child with cerebral palsy, 1592 01:22:23,800 --> 01:22:26,976 with Down Syndrome, autism now is so prevalent. 1593 01:22:27,045 --> 01:22:29,392 You don't think that I'm going to have an autistic child. 1594 01:22:29,461 --> 01:22:32,016 Close, good. 1595 01:22:32,085 --> 01:22:34,052 Good girl, you need to swallow. 1596 01:22:34,121 --> 01:22:36,952 We found out pretty early that she had had brain damage 1597 01:22:37,021 --> 01:22:38,884 so we knew that there were going to be some issues. 1598 01:22:38,954 --> 01:22:42,612 So we were so excited, you know, to have our first girl 1599 01:22:42,681 --> 01:22:47,031 and we really didn't know what was going to lie ahead. 1600 01:22:47,100 --> 01:22:48,446 As Kiya got older you start 1601 01:22:48,515 --> 01:22:51,138 to realize, okay, now she's nine months, 1602 01:22:51,207 --> 01:22:52,691 a year, and she's not sitting up. 1603 01:22:52,760 --> 01:22:55,763 She's not crawling, and then the challenges, reality starts 1604 01:22:55,832 --> 01:22:58,387 to set in, the daily challenges start to set in. 1605 01:22:58,456 --> 01:23:00,837 A year and a half to build up her calf muscles. 1606 01:23:00,906 --> 01:23:04,496 She has no, like atrophy in there so she has no muscles. 1607 01:23:04,565 --> 01:23:06,912 - How long did it take you to accept the fact 1608 01:23:06,982 --> 01:23:10,675 that you have a different baby or it just--? 1609 01:23:10,744 --> 01:23:13,264 - I don't know, I still haven't. 1610 01:23:13,333 --> 01:23:18,165 I think there's days where I just go-- I think it's a dream 1611 01:23:18,234 --> 01:23:19,753 and it'll wake up 1612 01:23:19,822 --> 01:23:22,342 and everything will be like normal so to speak. 1613 01:23:22,411 --> 01:23:26,208 And then I remember that no, this is my normal 1614 01:23:26,277 --> 01:23:28,279 for however long it's going to be. 1615 01:23:28,348 --> 01:23:32,800 So there's days where I think I wish it was different 1616 01:23:32,869 --> 01:23:34,699 but then I think of all the happiness she's brought 1617 01:23:34,768 --> 01:23:37,184 to our life and how she's made us realize what love, 1618 01:23:37,253 --> 01:23:40,498 true love is all about and sacrifice and determination 1619 01:23:40,567 --> 01:23:41,878 and caring about others. 1620 01:23:41,947 --> 01:23:43,915 And I've seen the way other people have reacted 1621 01:23:43,984 --> 01:23:45,813 to her to help her. 1622 01:23:45,882 --> 01:23:48,678 It makes you feel good inside. 1623 01:23:48,747 --> 01:23:51,336 - She's a lot of work, you know, driving back 1624 01:23:51,405 --> 01:23:52,855 and forth to therapies. 1625 01:23:52,924 --> 01:23:54,891 She still sleeps with us at night. 1626 01:23:54,960 --> 01:23:56,962 A lot of times she'll wake up very scared 1627 01:23:57,032 --> 01:23:58,792 and she doesn't understand where she is 1628 01:23:58,861 --> 01:24:00,656 or she'll wake up and she has to go to the bathroom. 1629 01:24:00,725 --> 01:24:04,349 So we'll take her to the bathroom and she needs that, 1630 01:24:04,418 --> 01:24:06,351 the comfort of having us. 1631 01:24:06,420 --> 01:24:10,769 [playing xylophone] 1632 01:24:10,838 --> 01:24:13,393 The love that we feel for her, and like Lee said, 1633 01:24:13,462 --> 01:24:16,982 the love that she spreads around is so deep. 1634 01:24:17,052 --> 01:24:19,123 You can see the love in her eyes even though she's not talking 1635 01:24:19,192 --> 01:24:21,366 right now, when she looks at you she just looks right 1636 01:24:21,435 --> 01:24:24,714 into your eyes and you feel the love. 1637 01:24:28,787 --> 01:24:31,583 Having children no matter what their disability, 1638 01:24:31,652 --> 01:24:33,965 no matter what their level of function, 1639 01:24:34,034 --> 01:24:35,967 it's the greatest joy a parent can have 1640 01:24:36,036 --> 01:24:37,831 when they look back at you and they smile. 1641 01:24:37,900 --> 01:24:40,316 You realize that it's a part of you and for people 1642 01:24:40,385 --> 01:24:42,801 who are adopting, we have friends that have adopted, 1643 01:24:42,870 --> 01:24:45,252 they feel that same love because they've wanted 1644 01:24:45,321 --> 01:24:46,909 to have their own child so bad 1645 01:24:46,978 --> 01:24:49,532 and they realize that they couldn't. 1646 01:24:49,601 --> 01:24:50,982 And when they get that child 1647 01:24:51,051 --> 01:24:55,159 in their arms, they know that's their child. 1648 01:24:55,228 --> 01:24:56,988 I would say out of any thing I want my children 1649 01:24:57,057 --> 01:25:00,164 to love everyone regardless of race, 1650 01:25:00,233 --> 01:25:01,924 regardless of disability, 1651 01:25:01,993 --> 01:25:04,582 regardless of homosexuality or hetero-- 1652 01:25:04,651 --> 01:25:07,654 I want them to love everyone and that's something 1653 01:25:07,723 --> 01:25:09,276 that you have to teach them. 1654 01:25:09,345 --> 01:25:10,760 You have to teach them. 1655 01:25:10,829 --> 01:25:12,452 You know they say you can teach hate 1656 01:25:12,521 --> 01:25:13,694 and you can teach love 1657 01:25:13,763 --> 01:25:15,662 and it starts right now. 1658 01:25:15,731 --> 01:25:17,008 And I think you guys have that love. 1659 01:25:17,077 --> 01:25:19,493 I see that love and you'll be awesome parents, 1660 01:25:19,562 --> 01:25:21,426 - very, very good parents. - We hope so. 1661 01:25:21,495 --> 01:25:23,187 - As long as you still have that kid in you and you have 1662 01:25:23,256 --> 01:25:25,706 that mother instinct, you'll be great. I mean-- 1663 01:25:25,775 --> 01:25:27,225 - [Voiceover] You could be waiting. 1664 01:25:28,502 --> 01:25:32,265 - [Voiceover] Every step of the way is a barrier, a barrier. 1665 01:25:32,334 --> 01:25:36,786 - I don't know exactly why Nepal particularly closed down 1666 01:25:36,855 --> 01:25:38,857 but I can tell you that a variety 1667 01:25:38,926 --> 01:25:43,345 of reasons shut adoption including kind of practices 1668 01:25:43,414 --> 01:25:45,933 that are not ethical. 1669 01:25:46,002 --> 01:25:48,419 There's too much bribery, too much, 1670 01:25:48,488 --> 01:25:50,628 you know, too many kind of 1671 01:25:50,697 --> 01:25:52,768 untransparent exchanges of money. 1672 01:25:52,837 --> 01:25:55,184 Sometimes the bureaucracy takes over 1673 01:25:55,253 --> 01:25:56,220 and then you have children 1674 01:25:56,289 --> 01:25:57,704 who are lost in the bureaucracy 1675 01:25:57,773 --> 01:25:58,877 and so they end up staying 1676 01:25:58,946 --> 01:26:02,743 in their orphanages longer than they should 1677 01:26:02,812 --> 01:26:04,607 and sometimes so long 1678 01:26:04,676 --> 01:26:07,886 that they're then not really adoptable. 1679 01:26:07,955 --> 01:26:09,543 Programs have opened and closed. 1680 01:26:09,612 --> 01:26:13,029 Sometimes programs close because people, 1681 01:26:14,721 --> 01:26:17,206 the country gets a reputation 1682 01:26:17,275 --> 01:26:20,002 of not having a strong enough domestic program. 1683 01:26:20,071 --> 01:26:22,349 And then there are countries in the world that are not open 1684 01:26:22,418 --> 01:26:25,249 to international adoption and there would be nothing 1685 01:26:25,318 --> 01:26:29,114 that we could do because it wouldn't be about us. 1686 01:26:29,184 --> 01:26:30,944 I believe there are also countries in the world 1687 01:26:31,013 --> 01:26:32,980 where our government and their government aren't 1688 01:26:33,049 --> 01:26:34,982 having the best relations and I'm sure 1689 01:26:35,051 --> 01:26:39,642 that plays a factor in it as well, yeah. 1690 01:26:39,711 --> 01:26:43,059 [silence] 1691 01:26:45,924 --> 01:26:48,133 - [Michael] Surprisingly for us, the agency appeared to be 1692 01:26:48,203 --> 01:26:50,998 in the same boat and, therefore, our ally. 1693 01:26:51,067 --> 01:26:53,035 So they gave us another clue. 1694 01:26:53,104 --> 01:26:55,279 International adoption has been changed forever 1695 01:26:55,348 --> 01:26:58,903 since the Hague Convention was implemented in 1995. 1696 01:26:58,972 --> 01:27:01,181 The initial idea was to protect children's rights 1697 01:27:01,250 --> 01:27:03,701 and to eliminate child trafficking. 1698 01:27:03,770 --> 01:27:05,910 So they came up with a series of specific demands 1699 01:27:05,979 --> 01:27:09,914 from legislation for different countries. 1700 01:27:09,983 --> 01:27:11,847 Four countries failed to adjust to these requirements 1701 01:27:11,916 --> 01:27:14,263 and were banned from the international adoption arena 1702 01:27:14,332 --> 01:27:18,302 as they simply didn't have enough administrative resources. 1703 01:27:18,371 --> 01:27:22,271 UNICEF have their own vision of the convention. 1704 01:27:22,340 --> 01:27:24,825 They insist the children must be raised inside their country 1705 01:27:24,894 --> 01:27:30,900 of origin, so they can enjoy their cultural heritage. 1706 01:27:30,969 --> 01:27:33,040 The process of international adoption has become 1707 01:27:33,109 --> 01:27:35,940 impossibly complicated, expensive and entangled. 1708 01:27:36,009 --> 01:27:38,839 Even those few children who do find a family end up 1709 01:27:38,908 --> 01:27:42,222 spending years trapped in institutions. 1710 01:27:42,291 --> 01:27:44,983 As long the priority is in saving culture over the freedom 1711 01:27:45,052 --> 01:27:47,917 of individuals, millions of children will be locked up 1712 01:27:47,986 --> 01:27:49,816 and we will find ourselves in a world 1713 01:27:49,885 --> 01:27:52,336 where international adoption has been prohibited 1714 01:27:52,405 --> 01:27:53,958 and shut down forever. 1715 01:27:54,027 --> 01:27:56,271 [papers being slapped] 1716 01:27:56,340 --> 01:27:59,998 [guitar music] 1717 01:28:07,799 --> 01:28:09,974 - [Olga] Is there any hope? 1718 01:28:11,009 --> 01:28:14,358 Have we come to the end of the road? 1719 01:28:15,393 --> 01:28:17,775 No, we haven't. 1720 01:28:17,844 --> 01:28:20,571 This is only the beginning of our journey. 1721 01:28:20,640 --> 01:28:24,506 And we have been left with more questions than answers. 1722 01:28:24,575 --> 01:28:27,371 But we are not going to give up, 1723 01:28:27,440 --> 01:28:28,820 because we know that there is 1724 01:28:28,889 --> 01:28:32,134 at least one adoption agency that works for children, 1725 01:28:32,203 --> 01:28:34,101 not for governments or adults. 1726 01:28:34,170 --> 01:28:37,726 - Our mission is not about finding children for families, 1727 01:28:37,795 --> 01:28:40,798 but of finding families for children. 1728 01:28:40,867 --> 01:28:42,075 - [Olga] And because we can learn 1729 01:28:42,144 --> 01:28:44,008 from the best parents what it truly means 1730 01:28:44,077 --> 01:28:46,631 to put your child first. 1731 01:28:46,700 --> 01:28:50,325 My child will enter this world because we as a couple will 1732 01:28:50,394 --> 01:28:54,294 be ready to provide our child with a healthy and happy life. 1733 01:28:55,502 --> 01:28:58,402 After our interview, Kim decided to go back to school 1734 01:28:58,471 --> 01:29:01,715 to find a job and become the role model her children need. 1735 01:29:01,784 --> 01:29:04,580 - I know for sure this time I'll pass it 1736 01:29:04,649 --> 01:29:09,861 and I just have faith, that's it. 1737 01:29:09,930 --> 01:29:13,209 - [Olga] Kim hasn't given up, so neither should we. 1738 01:29:13,278 --> 01:29:15,695 - A-B-C-D-E-F-G. 1739 01:29:15,764 --> 01:29:18,594 - [group singing] A-B-C-D-E-F-G. 1740 01:29:18,663 --> 01:29:22,080 - [Olga] What if to graduate from school, we all had 1741 01:29:22,149 --> 01:29:24,220 to pass an exam on parenthood. 1742 01:29:24,289 --> 01:29:26,878 - I learned a lot though in these, in these-- 1743 01:29:26,947 --> 01:29:27,879 - I did too. 1744 01:29:27,948 --> 01:29:29,433 - In these informational seminars. 1745 01:29:29,502 --> 01:29:30,848 It was certainly worth it. 1746 01:29:30,917 --> 01:29:32,712 - [Olga] An exam that all adoptive parents have 1747 01:29:32,781 --> 01:29:34,955 to go through anyway. 1748 01:29:35,024 --> 01:29:37,855 - So I am thrilled to see everybody here today. 1749 01:29:37,924 --> 01:29:39,719 I know that we all have some self-- 1750 01:29:39,788 --> 01:29:41,306 - [Olga] Maybe then everyone could learn 1751 01:29:41,376 --> 01:29:44,344 what it really means to be ready for kids. 1752 01:29:44,413 --> 01:29:46,898 - Also it helps the child understand why 1753 01:29:46,967 --> 01:29:48,175 they're different. 1754 01:29:48,244 --> 01:29:49,453 - And that it's okay. If you talk about-- 1755 01:29:49,522 --> 01:29:51,731 - [Olga] Before taking on the responsibility 1756 01:29:51,800 --> 01:29:54,734 of creating a new life. 1757 01:29:54,803 --> 01:29:56,218 - But it's a big step. 1758 01:29:56,287 --> 01:30:00,015 You have to think about the financial implications, 1759 01:30:00,084 --> 01:30:03,087 whether you're young, too young or too immature. 1760 01:30:03,156 --> 01:30:06,331 You have to think about the child, not yourself. 1761 01:30:06,401 --> 01:30:07,712 What is going to happen 1762 01:30:07,781 --> 01:30:10,059 to this child once we bring him into the world? 1763 01:30:10,128 --> 01:30:11,820 - [Olga] And if we would all do this, 1764 01:30:11,889 --> 01:30:15,133 no child would be thrown onto the streets. 1765 01:30:15,202 --> 01:30:18,205 - Different stories, why do people have kids? 1766 01:30:18,274 --> 01:30:22,831 - [Olga] And no parent's anger would cause so much hurt. 1767 01:30:22,900 --> 01:30:24,626 All kids would have role models 1768 01:30:24,695 --> 01:30:26,144 and we could break the cycle. 1769 01:30:26,213 --> 01:30:28,733 - With those things it's the social emotional piece that's a 1770 01:30:28,802 --> 01:30:30,183 real challenge now. 1771 01:30:30,252 --> 01:30:34,049 - [Olga] Education has to be the first step to change it all. 1772 01:30:34,118 --> 01:30:35,878 - Family is more than blood. 1773 01:30:35,947 --> 01:30:37,570 - [Olga] And I know where I must start. 1774 01:30:37,639 --> 01:30:39,123 - You have created a family. 1775 01:30:39,192 --> 01:30:40,918 - [Olga] I'm must start with myself. 1776 01:30:40,987 --> 01:30:43,334 - These people are non-related by blood and biology. 1777 01:30:43,403 --> 01:30:44,991 - [Olga] Even after everything we've been 1778 01:30:45,060 --> 01:30:48,097 through we still have much to discover. 1779 01:30:48,166 --> 01:30:50,203 And if you are ready to have two kids 1780 01:30:50,272 --> 01:30:52,895 in a world with millions of orphans, 1781 01:30:52,964 --> 01:30:54,241 why not adopt one? 1782 01:30:54,310 --> 01:30:56,968 - Letting down worldwide millions of children. 1783 01:30:57,037 --> 01:30:58,660 - [Olga] Until the fear of our differences 1784 01:30:58,729 --> 01:31:00,247 has finally been overcome, 1785 01:31:00,316 --> 01:31:03,527 there will always be children who can't find a loving home. 1786 01:31:03,596 --> 01:31:05,460 - They're damaged because they've never had this. 1787 01:31:05,529 --> 01:31:07,979 They've never been held on a regular basis and made to feel 1788 01:31:08,048 --> 01:31:10,913 - that bond that you feel. - I don't know about you-- 1789 01:31:10,982 --> 01:31:12,397 - [Olga] But until we start having kids only 1790 01:31:12,467 --> 01:31:17,195 when we are ready, there will always be victims. 1791 01:31:19,508 --> 01:31:23,788 These victims are the dreams of millions of children. 1792 01:31:23,857 --> 01:31:25,445 - I want to be doctor. 1793 01:31:25,514 --> 01:31:28,448 - [Olga] Dreams that will never come true. 1794 01:31:31,624 --> 01:31:33,349 - Teacher. 1795 01:31:35,593 --> 01:31:37,422 - Pilot. 1796 01:31:39,908 --> 01:31:41,910 - I want to be a teacher. 1797 01:31:43,256 --> 01:31:45,361 - I want to be artist. 1798 01:31:46,984 --> 01:31:49,124 - I want to be dancer. 1799 01:31:51,540 --> 01:31:53,231 - Doctor. 1800 01:31:55,406 --> 01:31:56,476 - Singer. 1801 01:31:56,545 --> 01:31:59,065 ♪ I believe in love. 1802 01:31:59,134 --> 01:32:02,827 ♪ It's all we got. ♪ 1803 01:32:02,896 --> 01:32:05,036 - Doctor. 1804 01:32:06,279 --> 01:32:07,556 - Nurse. 1805 01:32:10,663 --> 01:32:12,975 - I want to do-- 1806 01:32:13,044 --> 01:32:16,358 ♪ War makes money, cancer sleeps 1807 01:32:16,427 --> 01:32:22,053 ♪ Curled up in my father and that means something to me 1808 01:32:23,227 --> 01:32:28,646 ♪ Churches and dictators, politics and papers 1809 01:32:30,165 --> 01:32:35,584 ♪ Everything crumbles sooner or later 1810 01:32:36,758 --> 01:32:42,142 ♪ But love, I believe in love 1811 01:32:51,324 --> 01:32:56,743 ♪ I believe in love, it's all we got 1812 01:32:58,089 --> 01:33:01,230 ♪ Love has no boundaries 1813 01:33:01,299 --> 01:33:05,269 ♪ No borders to cross 1814 01:33:05,338 --> 01:33:10,688 ♪ Love is simple, hate breeds 1815 01:33:11,931 --> 01:33:17,592 ♪ Those who think difference is the child of disease 1816 01:33:18,938 --> 01:33:24,391 ♪ Father and son make love and guns 1817 01:33:25,392 --> 01:33:30,708 ♪ Families together kill someone 1818 01:33:31,847 --> 01:33:37,232 ♪ Without love ♪ 1819 01:33:39,614 --> 01:33:44,619 [piano music]